thoughtful nest

Still Here, Still Truckin'...

2011-12-15T08:57:00.000-08:00

I am a terrible blogstress, I know. Between the death of our second laptop and our transition to this iPad (which I can't figure out how to do anything on, including transferring pictures from my camera), the final push on selling our current home (officially done last Friday, phew) and on getting all the assessments & inspections completed on the new build, it has been complete mayhem around here for a good eight months now. Add in the usual suspects: taxiing kids around and keeping them happy & occupied, dealing with the occasional flus and other family health concerns and fitting in a workout here & there, and it's all been kind of a blur.

Now, I can at least say we are getting into the holiday spirit here. We have the tree up, the brown sugar shortbreads made and painted by the boys, a crockpot apple butter recipe ready to jar up, the eggnog in the fridge, and a cupboard or two of gifts ready to wrap and give. We had a blast at our friends' Christmas party last weekend and will spend this last Christmas in the house we started our family in, thinking about how to furnish and decorate our new place. We will move in mid-February and I expect a lot of our big home purchases will take place in early January, when things are on sale. A good time to buy patio furniture, I'm thinking...

But back to the holidays. I love giving. And if you haven't found the website "Pinterest" yet, you must check it out. I got my recipe for crockpot apple butter there(), along with an idea for these gorgeous, inexpensive bracelets to make for gifts(go here and scroll down to the twine and pearl delights: ), candy cane vodka tutorials, activities for my kids, ideas for the home...the list goes on. You have to request an invite, or a member can invite you. Just let me know if you would like an invite!

Hopefully I will have time to start writing again. I let it drop almost completely, save for a letter to my friend Jen here and there, around last spring. I just couldn't find the time, or the quietude I needed to get any done. Speaking of Jen, though (who is my best friend ever), she just had her little boy, Henry, at 29 weeks. He is the tiniest, sweetest little guy, and so strong. He's in an incubator but doing so well, and all I can say is I can't wait to meet him (They are in Edmonton. Sigh).

I'm still here!

2011-10-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true, I have not in fact fallen off the planet. I have been doing things like cleaning my house, cleaning my house, cleaning my house some more...staging my house, cleaning it again, keeping fresh flowers in vases, and cleaning my house. Trying to sell it. Also, making rosmary chicken and then mirepoix for the soup that followed. Yes, autumn is here. I love fall food. I love fall decorating, too, but don't have much time for it these days.

Things are good in general, but our lives are currently completely dominated with trying to sell the home we are still in so we can move into our new place! I can't wait to be there. I will wait a few days until I have a chance to get current photos and then will post some here. My kitchen cupboards and floors are mostly in and look INSANE! But I digress. Not a lot of point in talking about the house on the lake until I have photographic evidence for you. In the meantime, our initial real estate listing has expired, the market is deader than dead, and we are going to drop the price a second time and relist. We want the place sold, so we're willing to price it accordingly. It's a nice place! I think someone will love it. But we have to consider the current economic climate, which is, well, sucky.

I've been thinking a lot about Bruce lately (if you haven't been following - and I don't blame you if you haven't, with my infrequent posting - our friend and the architect/designer of our home took his own life in June). I wish I could have just one more conversation with him. I doubt it would change his choice, but I wanted to know more about him, and for him to know I loved having him as a friend. However briefly.

Our patient old boy with Noah. July 2010.

I had a dream the other night that our dog Rupert, whom we had to put down just over a year ago (old age/failing faculties), came to see me. This wasn't a normal dream at all. I realized he was there with me - we were in a big hilly field on a farm-type property - and expressed disbelief: "This can't be right. You died." But he sort of psychically nudged me, as if to say "No, I AM here, and you need to acknowledge it." Okay, okay, I thought to him. So come HERE then!" Suddenly, as if because I had accepted his presence, the dream became PALPABLY real. I can still feel his warm body and healthy fur, and the wonderful cuddle we had. He pretty much mauled me with a big dog hug, and did this purring thing he used to do(he was an English Mastiff - 185 lbs in his prime)...It was wonderful. And it makes me wonder if I should feel safer "believing" or hoping in something big on the afterlife front. Why am I so fearful of committing to faith? I just feel that I can't possibly "know" something that big for sure. After all, the whole dream, real as it felt, could have just been my brain doing me a lovely favour. Right? I invite any of you readers who have committed to a faith of some sort to offer feedback on this. I'm kind of grappling with it a lot lately. I'm even thinking about seeing a psychic for my birthday. How does one go about finding a "real" psychic, anyway?

I turn 37 next week. I'm going to go give blood. I feel it's going to be a great year for me and I want to start it off on a good note. I have now officially lost 32 lbs since my youngest was born (about 2.5 years ago). I have a little more to go but I feel like I have finally kicked the worst of it. I am no longer completely out of shape and my strength & stamina are going steadily up. My hubby complimented my muscular arms the other day. He also claims that my butt no longer looks like "two cats in a bag" when I run. You have to know my husband. This is the highest praise. And he would never have said that it looked like that WHEN it looked like that (he would have suffered greatly had he risked it)...Indeed, the best compliment I've received lately was when he referred to me as a "beautiful jackass." I already know I'm a jackass (sometimes, at least - isn't this human nature?), so really it's the same as if he just called me beautiful (I am much happier having an honest life partner than one who sugar-coats everything. But I digress).

I feel great, and like I am looking ahead on a wonderful time with my family. We're happy and healthy and I'm about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime. Growing my own food, starting a bed and breakfast, and in a year or two, the boys will be in "big-kid" school and I (in theory) will have time to get back to making art and writing after far too long a hiatus. No complaints.

Preparing to have a little Thanksgiving weekend with my mom & sister visiting, while hubby will be racing his dirtbike in the annual "Terra Nova" in Cowichan. They call it the "Aqua Nova" though because every year it rains torrentially. At least they get a turkey dinner with it! I will be keeping our meal at home simple, on Saturday night, so that I can enjoy the day with my girls on Sunday. I hired the sitter, bless her heart, to help out that day so we can get out for lunch and maybe a matinee.

This concludes my long overdue journal entry for the time being. Will be back with housey pictures. Have a lovely Thursday and thanks for stopping in...

Help Find Kienan Hebert

2011-09-09T05:42:00.000-07:00

I have been up since 3:30 this morning, when I woke and started thinking about the poor three year-old boy, Kienan Hebert, who has gone missing and it probably with a convicted sex offender. This horrifies me in general, but since I became a mother I really can't handle stories like this. I hope that they find little Kienan and bring him home safe today. My heart is breaking for him and his family. Please say a prayer or send out good vibes (or whatever you do), or join the search parties in Sparwood, BC. Thinking of you, Kienan.

TO UPDATE: For those of you who don't know, Kienan was returned home by his abductor, who was later caught. I believe Randall Hopely is in jail awaiting trial. Unbelievable outcome. It's weird, I'm not sure if I believe in God. But I think I believe in prayer.

It's a Beautiful Life, This Crazy Life

2011-08-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

Good morning readers! How are the four of you today? Ha. If you're even still there. I have been a terrible, terrible blogstress this summer. It's been hard to know what to write about with so much going on. I will try to summarize the goings on without boring you all.

Went to the market in Sidney the other night with a girlfriend (we left the kids home with their Dads). It was amazing! I had no idea it was so huge. I actually bought a dress which I love so much...I seriously almost started to salivate when I saw the fabric. This is what Tim would refer to as "very Sammish." The girl selling the dresses designs them and then has them made. Tons of great fabrics! www.chaidesign.net . These ADORABLE earrings are so sweet I want to swear about it, but I won't do that here. They're from a gal who makes great stuff. Check her out at www.bopeepbaby.etsy.com .

We have met with another designer friend of Tim's, Ivan Meade, and his colleague, Echo Eaton, of The Meade Group in Victoria. Definitely check out their blog and website at http://www.meadedesigngroup.com/ . They have interviewed a plethora of amazing designers, as you will see, including our friend, the late and great Bruce Wilson. It's a comfort to me that Ivan worked with Bruce on several projects. I think he will keep in mind, as he helps us with the interiors, what Bruce envisioned for our space. Certainly Ivan is an artist in his own right, as you will see when you visit his site.


(from http://www.drawerpullstore.com)

(www.listonegiordano.com)

(from http://liliumdesigns.blogspot.com)

The colour palate has evolved a bit in the kitchen. Because we have re-purposed interior doors with a bit of a red tint to the stain (don't love it but it's more cost effective to leave them than to strip and re-stain them), and hardwood floors in a medium oak tone in the area surrounding the kitchen (above), the original plan to go with a walnut in the kitchen was posing a problem. It would have just looked like too many woods when you include the dark brown stain on our rafters. So Ivan ended up making the same suggestion Bruce had, which was to go with a bit of a faded or washed out oak (if you've looked at any of the Restoration Hardware catalogues lately, you can probably picture the look I'm talking about). I resisted the idea when Bruce brought it up because it seemed like such a departure from what I had pictured. But it does seem to be the best solution. The floors have arrived and are in their boxes waiting to be installed (picture at top left). I am also leaning more toward an old-style inset drawer pull than the long thin handles I originally thought I wanted. Something like what I've shown above. I actually quite like the tarnished brass look...but it seems kind of crazy to be planning a kitchen in oak and brass - conjures up terrible images of kitchens from the 80's! That is NOT where we're going with this, not at all. The cabinet fronts will be very sleek too, with little millwork. Of course, the new wood selection meant the original counters we chose weren't going to work. Ivan and Echo have suggested what you see in the picture just to the left, above, for the other finishes. Clockwise, from top left: Backsplash, Floor tile with grout suggestion (I want it darker to mask grease and drips/stains), paint colour, and granite counters. It's all pretty mellow and I am even a little nervous it's all just going to look beige. We're doing a herringbone floor with the tiles which I am thrilled about (similar to shown, but with a darker grout). And, ironically, Bruce had presented us with the exact same back splash tile from the start. So you can see, things are coming along. I am trying to just have faith that my very existence in this kitchen will fill it with colour...I cannot have a blah, bland, beige home...I will be putting in a found table/butcher block base (have to start shopping for that) which I can make any colour I want, and my pottery, glassware and china collections are pretty colourful as well. I will find a way to add some with the lighting too, if I have my way.

That's pretty much the update for the house. First coats are on the walls and cabinetry/millwork should start to go in in the next few weeks. And now, I am simply going to barrage you with a selection of images I have shown to Ivan and Echo to give them an idea of who is going to inhabit the space; namely yours truly, crazy old moi. Enjoy - I consider this a lovely mess of eye candy. I will not source these photos as the ones with sources have been shown here and credited before. It's a beautiful life, this crazy life!

Summer Daze

2011-07-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

Summer is flying by. We missed Bruce's service because we'd already booked our first vacation in a year out of town, but it sounds like he had a huge turnout, with lots of great stories and a lovely celebration for his life. We're meeting with his friend Kory tomorrow and I'm so looking forward to hearing about it; she read a little something I wrote at their open mike so I hope to hear from some of his friends and family with stories or photos of his life before I knew him. I think that will help me with making sure he is honoured well in our home. I definitely want a great photo of him for the family and friends wall I plan to do.

Paint colours are up now and soon flooring will start going in. We've reduced the price on our current home as the market is seeming quite inactive since we listed a couple of months ago. http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=10736261&PidKey=1512329381 (Pics aren't great but it shows well. It's been a great home for us).

We went up to Lillooet to see my brother in-law and his gal Lisa, and also my father in-law and his lady Phyllis for a week with our boys. They had a blast! Swam in the pool and ran all over the huge yard full of fruit trees and vegetable gardens. My husband and I didn't get much sleep but it was worth it to see the family and watch the kids have such fun. Saw lots of neat things too, from an Osprey nest on the old bridge there to the geo-cache hunt Uncle Kelly took Griffin on. I didn't know about geo-caching until then, it's very cool. Like treasure-hunting for a current version of a time capsule using a GPS. Oh, and it was totally hilarious to open a parcel yesterday and find our toddler toilet seat in it, with a few other things. We always leave something behind, even after a triple sweep of the place...

Griffin also received a late birthday gift from Uncle Kelly: a new bike with training wheels and pedals. He never mastered pedals with the trike because when he was two Kelly gave him this rad balance bike that was all painted up to look like my husbands dirt bike. Noah has now inherited that one and they are LOVING their bikes. I take them to tennis courts nearby, which are great - enclosed and safe for them to ride around in.

Took about two weeks off on the working out and calorie counting, and gained a couple of pounds but stayed where I wanted to, more or less. Today I got back to the Jazzercise as I was starting to feel like a slug, and it was fun and sweaty. I hope to keep the weight dropping consistently. Maybe I can even reach my goal by my birthday in October. I'm going to plan a shopping trip to the states for around then, which I've been putting off since Griff was born, and MAN do I need a wardrobe makeover. Time to start stashing my cash for that one.

Well, the kids didn't nap today and my husband is off riding his dirtbike, so I am going to bathe the boys, put them to bed and hopefully I will get time to watch a chick flick and maybe eat a little supper made of things I have to avoid when Tim is home, like capers and onions. Bwahaha...

Life Goes On

2011-07-08T08:50:00.000-07:00

With Bruce's passing (see my last post: My Friend Bruce) it's been hard to think about blogging blissfully away about the continuing development of the house and the choices we're starting to make about decor - the fun stuff. But the truth is, and Bruce's friends would agree, I think, that he would not want his choice to be a dark cloud over our new home. In fact, if there is a life after death (which is a whole different post), he's probably "up there" somewhere wondering why we're not cracking a bottle of bubbly with every decision made.

I still feel sad every time I spot one of my House & Home magazines, which I have poured over and given him clippings from throughout the architecture and design process until now (Bruce was actually sited in the 2009 H and H list of Canada's Top 100 Designers). Even in my Jazzercise classes, I'll be doing fine and then one of the songs will trigger my sadness that he's gone (you try crying and doing aerobics at the same time. How to feel like a tool 101). We were only friends for a year or so, but I felt especially close to him the last few times we got together. I had just programmed his number into my cell phone. I knew he would be over for family dinners and had visions of him designing a hair salon for my sister one day. I could tell he wanted to talk more. I wish I had had more time with him. I guess we all do.

At any rate, the process does continue with our home and Tim and I will wonder with every decision whether Bruce would like what we've chosen. At our recent meeting with our carpenter and draftperson - both friends and colleagues of Bruce's - we each lit a candle for him before we started. I joked that if any of the plans or drawings caught fire that it would be Bruce telling us it sucked. He was never one to mince words! We will try to honour him at every turn, knowing of course that he wanted us to enjoy our home and make our own choices. I have plans to include him on our family & friends picture wall and will probably do a small plaque for him on the property somewhere.


"Golden Ray" granite: kitchen counters

grey slate kitchen floors

At the moment we are seeing nice progress. The garage doors are on both the main house and the outbuilding. The siding will soon be complete. Drywall is almost done and the painters have begun. I can't wait to see the wall colours done. In a couple of weeks floors will go in and then the landscaping and railings on the deck will start to move forward. Then the really exciting stuff will start to happen. I AM DYING TO SEE MY KITCHEN COME TOGETHER! (Slate floor pic sourced at http://www.carpet-tile.org/2011/04/17/slate-floors-9/) The cabinets will be in a cherry colour similar to the picture on left (http://www.ijoos.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Modern-Cherry-Kitchen-Cabinets-1.jpg). The range will be a Viking 48 inch in stone grey, similar to the one shown (http://www.vikingrange.com). Finally, I will include a pottery barn pendant light I like(http://www.potterybarn.com/products/calhoun-glass-pendant/?pkey=cpendants). It might be the closest I can get to the bouy re-dos I want to create.

Bruce added a final detail over the bar counter that he hadn't talked to me about before he went, and when it came up at our meeting last week I quite liked it. I am keen to implement any of his final ideas into the remaining process, as long as my dear husband likes it too. His drawings were always full of genius detail and design. I plan to put them in an album at some point, with all the plans and clippings that helped us along the way.

Well, it's just after eight AM and my two year-old is crawling all over me while my four year-old takes over 30 minutes to eat his oatmeal. I am off to get the day started for them now. Including some pictures to give an idea of the kitchen concept, though I don't have all the samples yet, and my scanner is packed so I can't show you the actual plans. I will try to post soon as I figure out hardware & fixtures. Have a lovely Friday, folks.

My Friend Bruce

2011-07-03T07:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't written for a while because it's hard to know what to say. My friend, Bruce Wilson, who designed the home we are building, took his own life early last week. I am struggling with this on many levels, so I will just include a brief reflection on what's happened for now. He was a formidable man going through a difficult time. I was so optimistic he would pull through. It amazes me that he continued to meet us about the design of our home right up until a few days before he left us. I am grateful for everything he gave us. Love you forever, beautiful friend ~

My heart is broken by your choice, and I know I'm not alone. There is a vast, collective sadness.
Our friendship was not long, but I did think of it as a gift. Thank you for telling me you felt the same way.
I wish I could have given you some hope; that any of us could have shown you some of what you needed.

You will always be honoured in my heart and in the beautiful home you helped us create.
I hope you are still out there somewhere, free of it all and with all of our love around you; with joy and strength.
Until our hearts meet again, Bruce, rest in peace.

Whittling and Whining and Flooded New Drywall

2011-06-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

Griffin Asher

Noah March

Hello, darling readers, I know I've been a negligent poster of late. I have been busy as usual, with the usual things, including LOSING 10 LBS since the end of April. Yes, I am very proud of myself, and it's been hard work - especially with the constant demands of my little lovelies (or maniacs, depending on how you look at it). I plan to keep going as I have more to lose, but I am officially starting to believe that I can do it. It's taken me over a decade to get back down to where I am, so it's a big deal! My clothes are fitting differently (some not at all anymore, some in the first place as I couldn't wear them before). I feel so much better being in control. Some days are easier than others but I'm enjoying my workouts for the most part and now that I'm eating more cleanly most of the time, my body reacts much more noticeably to the stuff that isn't good for me (felt totally pukey after a piece of my husband's birthday cake, even though I made it from scratch myself). So yes, permanent and lasting change seem to be in my future (and unbelievably, my present as well). I am whittling away at my accumulated neurosis/love handles and coming out of it a much stronger person in mind and body. It is definitely a feat of mental strength making strides in this way. I can really feel how positive an effect my being fit and strong and mentally sharp is having on my family as well.


Spastically excited to share a room!

My one complaint right now is that since we moved the boys into a room together, our sleep patterns are out the window. We've tried a variety of things and I've come to the conclusion that I need to cut their naps way down. Up to this point I have been very fortunate to have two boys who will nap for three hours or more most afternoons, and I think it's hooping us at night. With a sitter here last night, the boys were up until almost 10 (they napped late), and STILL they woke me up at 5 this morning. Actually, they woke my husband, who had developed a raging headache through the night and wanted me to get up with them...so I awoke to find him talking away at me about getting up with the kids, as though I had been awake for the first part of the conversation. Meh. I'm so tired I'm becoming a crazy person(exhibit A to the right - tell me I don't look a little manic). I'm going to short-change the kids on their naps today and PRAY we can get them to sleep reasonably early tonight.


Just before drywall completion

On the house front, things are coming along, er, swimmingly. Just as we finished the drywall and primer coat in the basement, the plumber overlooked an un-stopped pipe and flooded our master bedroom and the theatre below. With soundproofing/insulation between the two, the entire ceiling of the theatre will now have to be ripped out, reinsulated and re-drywalled to avoid mold growth and the like. Tim is not happy. This will add considerable time to the finishing of the drywall and painting in the house, which was probably only two weeks from done before this happened. At any rate, the plumber is very, very sorry.

My sister is in France having a fabulous time right now, and keeps sending me pictures of her meals and the various wonderful places she's seeing (that's Monica to the left, sitting with the dog in her lap). I am jealous and simultaneously, vicariously enjoying her experience. Hopefully she will bring me some nifty souvenirs or something. I can't believe six years have passed since our honeymoon there. We'll celebrate 16 years together this July.

I am off to force feed my cranky tired children the rest of their breakfasts, but will return a bit later to add some illustrative photos for your viewing delight. Oh, and a clip from the album I just bought by The New Pornographers. It's such a happy album. Not new to me but the copy my friend sent got drooled on and destroyed...it's so good that I made a special trip to the store for a new one. http://www.youtube.com/watch

Hockey Riots and Colour Swatches. What a Week.

2011-06-15T21:37:00.000-07:00


I mean, REALLY, Vancouver?

WELL. I am extremely embarrassed by the behaviour of Vancouverites in general tonight, though I know MY friends and family have had no part in the burning of cars, destroying of property or violence toward one another that I am seeing on the news.
So the Canucks lost. The Bruins had an impenetrable goalie. It was over as soon as it started. Sure, disappointing. NOT a reason to make our whole country look like assholes! My goodness. Here is the link to the photo source: mashable.com

...I am so not a hockey fan, and only really watched this game because my husband wanted to. I made a nice taco dinner and we watched it with the boys. As soon as it became clear that it was not going to be Canada's game, my husband said "Oh no, they're going to trash the city..." but this is insane!

However, I will move on. By the time anyone turns off the news and checks this out, it will be old hat anyway.

Yesterday, we met with Bruce to choose our interior paint colours. I will elaborate on colour names and locations in a follow-up entry soon...but for now here is a photo of the swatches. I am thrilled and excited to see them up - the primer was going on yesterday. I can't believe how fast it's all starting to go. Now, if someone would just buy the house we're in. Sigh. The market really is just BLAH right now. Hopefully that will turn around soon.

I am sick with a very sore throat and got about four hours of sleep last night. So for now, I am off to sip a warm neocitran and climb into bed. May Vancouver just stop the nonsense now and all go to sleep as well...What a scene.

Whatnots and Whozits, Etc.

2011-06-07T17:38:00.000-07:00


We're keeping flowers around all the time now, in case of showings

It's 5pm, my husband will be home in about an hour, and my children have flat-out refused to eat their tuna sandwiches, though they have done so before. I refuse to make them another meal. Before we had kids, we used to watch this one poor friend of ours as she played the role of short-order cook to her two boys. One of them would literally only eat hotdogs, pizza and macaroni and cheese. The other was better, but not by much. She would end up making three meals to accommodate her kids, her husband and herself. We would drive home and agree that I would never succumb to such a fate. Seriously, moms, don't do it! Her son is now about 22 and has moved in a girlfriend who does the same thing for him! Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with a Mama's Boy. But my Mama's Boys will know how to both grow and cook their own food AND do laundry. By the time they're 10.


Griffin eating actual veggies, hidden in his mac and cheese!

Admittedly there have been times when I have made a second meal for one or both of them. When they are babies, there is some leeway to be had on pretty much everything you thought you knew how to do beforehand. But now that they're bigger (and growing faster than I can keep up with - my two year-old put on a pound and a half in less than a month!), I refuse to continue letting them woo me with their cuteness. Okay, that's totally not true in the grand scheme of things. But I AM serious about meal times. I will not be the parent whose kids are bewildered when they sit down to a family dinner at a friend's house. They will know what to do. They will know how to eat. They will be able to carry on a polite conversation and hopefully tell a story or two. They will understand that they must at least try everything on their plates, and that no dessert will be had (or anything else for that matter) if they don't eat what is put in front of them.

a snapshot of one of our market hauls from last summer

It can be hard to be consistent and not just do what's easiest in the moment. We have busy lives. I won't claim this will fall into place perfectly and smoothly; that I won't bribe them to get the results I want sometimes. But they will be subjected to quite an adjustment as we move into our new home and I truly begin my enterprise as a homesteader. Less sugar and packaged food, more time outside in our garden, less television, more fruit...you get the picture.

I haven't talked about the "Clean Eating" diet for a month or two. While there are strong principles and guidelines in Tosca Reno's books, they are pretty rigid and I am changing my ways a bit more gradually. On the weekends I still have a drizzle of maple syrup in my coffee. But the way I am eating now involves portion control and tons of fresh fruit and produce. I think the example I'm setting will pay off (for all of us). Down over three pounds since last week and hoping to meet a goal by next Monday with the support group I mentioned in my last post, and by tracking my daily food and exercise on www.myfitnesspal.com . It's been a huge help and a motivator.


Front of house as seen from behind outbuilding

In other news, our designer has had some things preoccupying him and we haven't had a chance to meet with him together for a couple of months now. So in some ways I am chomping at the bit to dive back into things - he's talking in our emails about getting paint samples up on the interior walls, etcetera. Things will start to move pretty quickly and I think we'll be move-in ready around September. Unfortunately, having listed the house almost two weeks ago we've had almost no interest so far. My Dad blames the hockey season, I blame the first decent weather we've had all spring...but whatever the case we've only had one showing and not a peep since. That was a week ago. Hoping things change and people start shopping soon so we can stop worrying about the place being perfect all the time. We worked our arses off getting it ready to show, and now we're in limbo. Blah.

outbuilding seen from front of house

Great room seen from back of kitchen

Will post pics of our most recent photo shoot at the new house when I get a minute. Such a challenge lately! For now, I am off to represent the children with their wilting sandwiches. They think they can be stubborn? Boy, have they got somethin' coming.

Ha ha - ten minutes later, the boys have had a good play and are back in their high chairs chowing down on their sandwiches. Mama rides again. Until bedtime, anyway...

Real estate, drywall and shrinking thighs!

2011-06-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

So the neatest thing happened last Friday night. My husband's second cousin Lacey and I have kept in touch since we met at a family reunion about seven years ago. She has two boys very close in age to ours and lives in Oregon. We're Facebook friends and she sent me a message inviting me to join a secret page because she knew I was trying to lose weight. She and some other moms (one of whom I know online from the site www.breasthealthonline.org because Lacey connected us before our breast reductions last fall) are using the page for accountability, commiseration and encouragement and so on. Every week we post a photo of our feet on the scale and try to meet the challenge her friend Robyn posts. The first challenge was to join www.myfitnesspal.com, which is kind of like Weight Watchers but free, and it seems to me, way better. After you track your food and exercise for the day, you get a one-liner under your summary that says "If every day were like today, you would weigh ___ in five weeks!" Such a motivator to know I can get the numbers down and that I have to account for what I'm doing between the two things. I'm grateful Lacey thought to include me! You can check out her blog at: http://laceyandkyle.blogspot.com . I've been posting pictures of my meals when I can just to help myself stay on task. It's a fun way to make my crazy days a little more artistic too.

I was feeling stuck for the last week or two of May and things are looking up again. This reminds me of what I accomplished before my very temporary pause; I am on a mission! I started last month by running a big 10K race I haven't done since before my oldest was born four years ago. I just checked the difference in my time and I beat my 2006 run by over 7 minutes! 104:12 isn't fast, but it's FASTER. Ha. I am also still LOVING Jazzercise. Only about three classes a week are manageable with my 2 & 4 year old boys, but the instructor is a fireball and makes me do things I would never do to myself! I know that as the weight comes off I will develop muscle tone as well thanks to this. AND I LOST 7 POUNDS IN TWO WEEKS doing this and running on alternate days. I also figured out how to use an ipod - well, mostly (my husband is still on task as my trouble shooter)...

On the house front the cedar shingling is going up on the exteriors and drywall is almost done. All the fireplaces are in along with doors. It's getting exciting - Tim brought home the Farrow & Ball paint swatches Bruce (our designer) wants me to approve today for the interiors. Whee! We have also listed our current home and have had one showing so far. This is the most stressful part of our current situation as it's not easy keeping the place clean with two little ruffians tearing it apart all day. We're managing though and have worked hard to get it into shape. Fingers crossed that it sells quickly. Wanna buy a house? Buy Sam's House!

That's all for now. Must get to sleep as the boys have been relentlessly waking us at 5 am daily! Have a lovely.

Sparrow Hill

2011-05-18T22:47:00.000-07:00

http://lifeandtimesinbangalore.wordpress.com/

How did it get to be May already? I mean, it's already the 18th and I have no idea where the month has gone. For us, it's been tunnel vision to photo day with the realtors (as in listing day), which my husband has infuriatingly and, yes, thankfully, postponed a good four times now. Friday at noon we will be officially photographed - the house will, I mean - and then we will start getting phone calls to clean up and get out within an hour, probably during naptime or when the kids are ready for their baths.

http://birding.bc.ca/

Yes, for a while yet, life will be in upheaval. But it is so exciting and a bit unbelievable to think that within six months, we will be in our forever home at Sparrow Hill (this is what I've named it). Drywall has begun, fireplaces are in, and we have the most gorgeous recycled doors, thanks to my husband's resourcefulness. I don't know where to begin. The landscaping has changed completely in the last week, with rock fill altering the elevations. It's starting to feel like the place it's going to be, if that makes sense. I am DYING to see my kitchen start going in, but of course the under-layers must happen first.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/58282598/birds-on-a-wire-vinyl-wall-decals

I won't go on and on in detail because I haven't any new photos for you yet. I will try to get some by next week. In the meantime, check out this etsy site that sells wall decals. I like the birds, but they have a gazillion amazing ones...Have fun perusing!

Also loving Poppytalk Market, an online market full of handmade loveliness. Check it out fo shizzle:
http://poppytalk.blogspot.com/

Handmade Charlotte is another site that blows me away. This mother of FIVE somehow finds time to blog about and post the most beautiful things. Trust me and take the time to scroll down, down, and further down. You will not be disappointed. http://www.handmadecharlotte.com/category/in-the-kitchen/

Recently an old high school friend started posting pictures of her delicious looking culinary endeavours on Facebook. I thought to myself, she should be doing a blog. Now, she's paired up with an artist friend and indeed, they've launched "Pepper and Paint." Brand new, but looks promising and has lovely photography. Check them out: http://pepperandpaint.squarespace.com/ .

***

On another topic, I know MANY parents out there are dealing with the persistent and ubiquitous plight of kids wrangling with ADHD. A friend of mine recently pointed me to this amazing blog post, written by one such mother. I highly recommend you read her letter to the BC Ministry of Eduation: http://jacks-10.blogspot.com/2011/05/letter-to-ministry-of-education.html

http://teachingsciencenat.blogspot.com/

As a learning assistance teacher responsible for providing support to teachers of such kids at the high school level (before I had my oldest four years ago), I met a saddening amount of resistance from teachers who felt they were already doing everything they could, even as I presented new models and approaches to them. Understandably some were defensive because the new suggestions could have been construed as criticism, but I was very cautious not to approach it from that angle. I remember one teacher saying he taught all kids the same way, and it was not his responsibility if they couldn't process his lessons. I responded to that by telling him that he may not realize it but he had probably already been accommodating the individual needs of his students for some time, and than no one was accusing him of not caring. He remained defensive, and was clearly frustrated with the lack of support for the kids who needed it.

Classroom teachers are usually doing their best (not always, but that's another talk show), but the truth is that a lack of funding and a complicated "categorization" system means it's extremely difficult to get the one-on-one help many students need.

This goes way beyond just ADHD. Every student has their own unique way of absorbing information. Some have high IQ's and some have lower ones. And I don't dare forget to mention "The Spectrum," which now consists of an inordinately broad range of labels, including but not exclusive to autism. Asperger's syndrome, Tourette's syndrome, general sensitivity to audio and visual input and a wide range of other developmental and biological issues reside here. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome also falls into a spectrum category because the list of possible outcomes are vast. There are the "gifted" or the "limited" students, who either aren't being challenged enough (and usually acting out as a result) or are completely overwhelmed by a full curriculum if not provided with full-time, one-on-one support - the funding for which is usually allocated to those with more severe learning and/or physical challenges. Sigh.

http://summitschool1.blogspot.com/

When meeting with parents to revise or create their child's IEP (Individualized Education Plan), I always made a point of using the term "Learning Difference" rather than "Learning Disability," which in my opinion is an antiquated label with no positive function at all. Slowly educators are changing tack and our kids are being recognized as individuals with their own learning paths. Slowly we are learning that our job as educators is to guide them through a process of self-determination along with the specifics of curriculum. Teachers need to take on the task of being "lifelong learners" themselves; to remember that we are role models and the world our students are stepping into is a different one than it was when we were in their shoes. This is the generation who will determine how we are cared for when we become too old to make those decisions for ourselves. Let us remember that even as we struggle to achieve positive direction for our students, amidst red tape, budget and staffing limitations, that we can change our future and the futures of these young people by showing them how to find their way.

My advice to students who can't seem to find a focus or function comfortably in the classroom: When one person won't listen to your plea for help, ask again. If they don't listen, ask someone else. Call a help line, go to a teacher you don't even know, ask a friend's parent if yours doesn't know what to do. Yes, this can be frustrating and you may feel judged or embarrassed. Swallow that down and remember that the adults in your community work for you. We are your employees, in a true sense, so call upon us to help you find your path.

This is not about blaming the things that haven't worked up to this point, it's about knowing there is a way to make a learning experience a positive one. Tools for eliminating stress, streamlining or breaking down assignments in to manageable chunks, these are all available when you find the right resources. There will be hoops to jump through, but you absolutely can find people and gain learning tools to help you both manage whatever you feel is holding you back and even accelerate your enjoyment and productivity in learning.

On the topic of medication I am cautious. As an educator I have seen students benefit from prescriptions to drugs like ritalin, if only in the capacity of functionality in their school experience. That said, long term side effects are not yet known and as an educator I would probably not recommend medicating a child who might benefit just as much from alternate teaching methods or environment. No blanket statements here; I am not a physician or a psychiatrist, just an educator and parent who would probably do everything under the sun before I would medicate my kid to calm him down.

Yes, I realize not all parents have unlimited access to high performance education models, or the time or money to seek them out. But any parent with the motivation and tenacity CAN facilitate change. In than vein, my kudos of the day goes out to Jacqueline Laprise, author of the above letter to the BCME. I am also sending out a big shout to the amazing educators out there. Most of you ARE trying to make a difference, even within the restrictions I've mentioned here. Finally, a "holla" to the students out there who motivate us to do better for you. You are our future, and I respect you.

***

That's it for now! Hope to post more housey photos soon or at least something more creative than more talk of no sleep and the wonky bedtime routines of my chitluns.

I sign off with a quip I heard somewhere years ago, and loved, and sign my most special letters with to this day:

Until our next joining of hearts ~

Books Whut I Likes

2011-05-05T21:47:00.000-07:00

BOOKS WHUT I LIKES:
While I should really resume the sifting, sorting, decluttering and purging rampage I began today, I am spent, and I figured while moving certain things around that I should share with you a few of my favourite reads. I took one shot of my fiction pile, and one of my cookbooks. These of course are a meager few of what I own as a voracious reader in the process of building a library in my new home...but for now they should serve as an ample list of HIGHLY recommended reads for those of you who haven't yet been bestowed with their excellence. Please add to them "The Family Dinner," by Laurie David (Larry David's ex, but seemingly nothing like him, in a good way - he IS hilarious, but only in small doses) and "Life is Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets" by Lisa Quinn, which I lent to a friend because it had me HOWLING (it's a mom thing). Also, "The Help," by Kathryn Stockett. Just a brilliant read. Anyway, I hope this helps a few of you out with your next search for good reading. You won't be disappointed.

Got lots done today thanks to our godsend of a nanny, Cindy. That's not to say I can afford an actual Nanny. We found her when I needed someone to help me with lifting the kids in the two weeks following my breast reduction last fall ("they're real, and they're spectacular!"), and she has proven to be a godsend (I use this term in spite of my google status as an aetheist agnostic) who is available on short notice and so flexible and helpful with our boys, to say the least. Really, she is just the most giving, caring person. She's English, and I must say there really is something comforting about the accent and demeanor of the Brits - I still have fond memories of a sitter my Gramma used to call when we came out west to visit as children (I grew up in Halifax, though I was born here in BC...but I digress). I had Cindy come and play with the kids this morning so I could tackle the cleaning out of closets and cupboards and such. She took the kids outside to play on their bikes and run around, and did a lovely job of exhausting them. I already feel better with today's work done. Even if we weren't selling the place, this stuff has needed doing for a while. Yay.

Kitty Cuddles and Snail Mail

2011-05-04T21:52:00.000-07:00

Hello, my poor, neglected readers...I hope all four of you are doing well today (ha ha).

I come to you worn and weary. It's been a hair-straight-back couple of weeks and there is little to no sign of relent as we prepare our current home to go on the market next week. The photographers from the real estate office are coming on Tuesday, which gives us five days to get a ridiculous amount of stuff done. We won't manage it all, but it will probably work out fine. This place is due for a nice deep cleaning, decluttering and purging anyway. It will feel good to get to the other side of that process...At least the initial phase of it, which will lead to subsequent ones as we get closer to our move.

I just spent a few precious moments perusing the other blogs out there. Please check out the ones I am "following" as they are really fun and provide countless links to other great web-spots. I actually just entered a contest for a free blog redesign through Danielle Moss's blog...I am not even sure if the ones I follow show up for you without my listing them specifically. Clearly, I need her help! At any rate, if I ever get enough time to sit around and compile links for you, I will do so. Lately there isn't much time for such things, and even now my husband is harassing me to go to bed (it's 9:35, and yes, I am that tired).

My lovely Sadie girl is curled up in the nook behind my knees, and we have the warm green blanket draped over us. My husband is watching some show about cylinder heads and I must say it's tempting me to take his advice and meander on up to my comfy bed. Today was a long one and I feel like I barely got anything done. My four year-old would NOT listen to me, and I am still sore after running the Times Colonist 10K on Sunday (I'm not fast, but worked hard and finished at 1:04:12 - next year it will be less than an hour!). I spent almost two hours cleaning my car, which I so don't have time for but which would have soon reached the point of no return. My kids trash the poor thing daily!

I have been missing our dog, Rupert, so much lately. We saw a St. Bernard (Rupe was an English Mastiff) at the park recently, writhing around on his back on the grass with his tongue hanging out and a big grin on his face. Reminding us of our golden boy. We'll get another dog eventually. Just not while we have all this stuff going on. I also saw the lady who used to house & dog sit for us when he was still with us today. We haven't been in touch for a few years and she didn't see me. I didn't say hello, just because I knew I would start bawling if I had to tell her he was gone. The worst thing about dogs is losing them. Such magical things they are.

I know this evening's topics are random, but I must sign off for now. Will post further updates on the house and such soon...probably after next Tuesday. Special thanks to my goodest friend of all, the creative and brilliant Jennifer Rae Forsyth, who writes to me and sends me wonderful things even when I don't have time to reciprocate (though I try). I'm talking old-fashioned proper mail here, people. It's a wonderful thing. Here, I will include a picture of just one wee stack of what she's sent me in the last six months to a year...

Hoping you all have more down time than I do right now, and if not, well at least we're in it together. Bon nuit.

Spazzercise, Whee!

2011-04-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

So, I've been doing Jazzercise classes for about four weeks now, three times per week over the last two. Along with alternate runs on my other three days, that's a persistent and consistent output effort every week. I am amazed to see that I've lost seven pounds in less than two weeks, and I am spastically in love with the Jazzercise classes. Seriously, I had no idea how repressed my inner dancer was, and I am so thrilled to have let her out that I don't give a hoot how ridiculous I look sweating and jiggling and messing up the footwork like a spazz in class. Vicki Waters is the powerhouse of this industry here on the island ( http://www.facebook.com/vickiwatersjazzercise ) and what a fireball of positive energy! She IS tough, and very focused on everyone using proper form for each move. While some might not be so concerned with this, I find that, even having joined mostly to have fun, her suggestions make a massive difference to my workout - I can usually feel the corrections locally and immadiately - and by the end of my hour there I am dripping with sweat and I've worked muscle groups I forgot I had.

I try to be a good role model, but it's a good thing I don't have daughters because I am really not comfortable in my own skin. I will get there and have come a long way, but like most women, I have issues. I put weight on in my early twenties after being naturally slender before that (thyroid kicked down, junk food and party habits kicked up) and I am still trying to forgive myself for changes I could only really prevent in retrospect (if I knew then what I know now, blah blah blah)...I have been fighting the good fight since then, absorbing information but never really facing my issues somehow...and I am at a point with it all over a decade later where I have the info and it's time to get 'er done. The info is this: I am tall, and I carry extra weight relatively subtly. I am slow to metabolize, I love to cook and eat and drink. I am learning to love working out too, and the nicest part of this is that it isn't just because I have to. Exercise has proven to be the best antidepressant for me over the years. It makes a huge difference in how I feel mentally, physically, and motivationally. I kid you not, for me it's a much better solution than prozac! Or paxil, which is an evil, evil little pill a careless doctor put me on years ago. What a mess I was! But I digress (and I also am not saying the right medication isn't helpful for some people...merely that I suggest exercise as a first approach. My friend Krista commented that I seem noticeably happier since I started my Jazzercise and running regime). On the cooking end I am using my knowledge to cook great food with lots of flavour. Will be posting more recipes soon.

So anyway, while I am trying to be kinder to myself and have PATIENCE with my physical state while I make changes slowly and steadily, I am seriously so enjoying having the dance element in my life again (I danced in junior high) that I am choosing to ignore the worries that I look like a chubby fool and just dancing my ass off! Literally.

In other news, we met with Bruce (Wilson, our designer, love him:http://www.brucewilson.ca/) last Tuesday to do our first actual shopping trip, which was exhausting and so FUN! The focus was tile and carpet and we brought home a slew of exciting samples. I don't have a picture of the marble slab we chose for our kitchen counters, but it is so beautiful...it has these magical veins of gray quartz running through it. Some of the samples in the photo won't make the final cut...the kitchen floor tiles are yet to be determined but the direction will be something like this: I also quite like the carpet I picked out for the guest suite and bedrooms.

We also had our realtor come by this week as a preliminary to listing the house for sale - May 1st isn't far off so we have some work to do. Nooks and crannies, de-cluttering and deep cleaning. I think I will start to pack away all of my little chotchkes and nick-nacks, so they will be all ready for their new homes when we move into our forever home. Depending on when this place sells, that may not be too far off! Here are the latest photos of the new place. Only got the upper floor this time as little Noah was anxious to get to the park.


front door

outbuilding, showing the stained cedar siding we're putting up on both buildings, from front boys' room


front hall, laundry on right, powder room and closet to left

Great room, from L to R kitchen, dining, living

view of kitchen and pantry door from living room


Looking back at front hallway from living area

hallway leading from living room on L/stairwell on R to boys' rooms


looking at stairwell and through to laundry/studio from dining area

One of the two boys' rooms. This one overlooks the driveway & outbuilding (and lovely forest).

The second boys' room, overlooking the deck and lake. We'll have the kids share the other one while they're little so we can hang out on the deck without bothering them after bedtime.


Looking into the boys bathroom on our way back out to the great room.


Library. Located behind the kitchen, off the hallway to the master suite.


Griffin, watching our friend Jas drill rock in front of my art studio


Living room hearth wall from kitchen and dining areas, hallway to boys' rooms on far right.


Hallway from library, on left and kitchen, on right to master suite.

View into master bath and bedroom to the right.

View from master bedroom window. Hoping to put a hot tub up on the rock, overlooking the lake.


Master suite from pool deck


Great room from pool deck

Our view!


Looking at the headboard/dividing wall in master suite

Boys' wing from pool deck


Looking up at the house from ground level, outside the garage. The property will terrace up to the front door.

Hopefully my little photo tour isn't too confusing...I can't seem to get them to load in the order of the walk-through we did! At any rate, it's moving forward fast now.

Not much else to report except that I have been sporting a black eye for the last few days. My oldest, Griffin (he'll be four on the 30th!), decided to stand up at the exact same moment I bent down to grab his truck (with which he was making a horrible racket while I tried to talk with the sitter)...he completely, positively BRAINED me and my eye has been a variety of changing shades of green and purple since then. Serves me right for trying to take his truck, I suppose...Voila, c'est moi.

Cock-a-doodle-dooooo...

2011-04-09T16:27:00.000-07:00

I managed to lose four pounds this week. Just made the workouts happen every day (Monday thru Saturday - today I ran 6K with 75 lbs of kids in a double stroller) and was too busy to really fall off track with the food...I am proud of myself though because I made the choices that got me here (no popcorn at the theatre on Thursday, smaller portions of everything and so on). Didn't go hungry and I've started Jazzercise classes for the first time in about a decade. I LOVE them. I am kind of a closet dancer (yes, I'm the dorky mom who dances around with a duster while her kids sleep). Since I'm confessing I might as well also let you know that I love horrible pop music countdowns and things like that...When it comes to the tailgate parties I am all about throwing on a little hard rock but for exercise and dancing I love the fluffy stuff!

This morning I took the kids out for my run as hubby took a day to go dirtbiking with a few buddies. We heard a rooster's cry while on the trail, to which my oldest (he's almost four) replied "F!*#-A-DOO!" Mortified, I replied sharply "C*#@!, Griffin! It's C*#@-A-DOODLE-DOO!" Sigh. Can't win sometimes.

Anyway, feeling food in general since I am moving and dancing and making decisions which should eventually help me achieve some fitness goals. I will be running the TC 10K here in Victoria on May 1st, so every week I will do one run a little longer. Really I could do it now, but my time wouldn't be great. Hopefully training for it will improve my time a little and give me a head start on losing the chub.

http://blog.rachelspurrier.com

http://www.designmom.com

http://www.museum.tulane.edu

Met with our designer this week and next week we'll meet him to shop for carpet, flooring, tile, lighting and so on. It's getting exciting for me and I'm realizing I really want a subtle boathouse theme throughout the place. It's fairly big and well, great, so I want to tone it down with a casual feel. Rows of hooks for towels instead of bars, baskets full of flipflops, old family pictures everywhere, a dog I have to take for a swim in the lake with me when we go...I'm even pondering whether I could make an old canoe into a set of kids' beds for the boys' room...I don't want to get too themey, in general, but in their room we'll have a little fun. We'll make good base choices with colours and materials and then converting it into something more grown-up later won't involve much. Found this chandelier made out of recycled globes which I just LOVE but I have also thought about doing one whole wall with a world map mural. Griffin is drawing up a storm these days, including this lovely character who appeared on our wall this morning while I was in the loo: So I will probably incorporate a blackboard or some kind of drawing surface into the space as well. Also transparent containers on shelves to show their collections of things(might as well since my pantry will look like that anyway, and some sort of easily switch-outable art display for their favourite paintings or drawings. I hope it will reflect them but also provide them with new adventures when they want them.

Lighting for some reason is a focus for me. I just found a great site: http://www.shopcandelabra.com . Love the entire Jamie Young pendant collection, and Worlds Away chandeliers (Venus, BoBo Intriguing Objects Egg Branch Chandelier)...just to name a few. And with that, my almost-four year-old is up from his nap. Til next time I am looking forward to a trip to the spa in the morning with my friend Heather! I hope I fall asleep while they massage me into a coma...

Too Many Balls!

2011-04-04T21:12:00.000-07:00

In the air, I mean. Too many balls in the air. This is why you haven't heard from me for almost two weeks, though I think that's atrocious. We are just a little overwhelmed, as people get when they're raising children and building houses and trying to balance all the other stuff that life brings. Too many balls.


http://www.anthropologie.com

This will be a perfunctory entry just to keep the flow here...I have so much on my mind that I'm not sure I can write anything too cohesive anyway. First, I must include links to a couple of sites I love, and the pictures to lure you to them. This bookshelf wallpaper (left) has me absolutely salivating. It's ridiculously expensive and so would have to be used most selectively, but it just makes me so happy. My best friend thinks it would be great in a closet. I think it would depend on the closet, but that could definitely work. You could also line the back/insides of actual bookshelves with it, and then display non-book items on the shelves. That would look great in a little den or library (the latter of which would obviously need some additional book shelves for actual books)...

http://4interior-design.com

Then I found this map wallpaper. I have been thinking a lot about what to do for my boys' room - they are two and almost four and will be sharing one while little. I have lots of ideas and thought some classic old fabrics might excite me. I was right! Warmbiscuit.com has some amazing stuff for kids. Found some kitschy florals (above, right) I like too but they would have to go in a guest room or something...maybe with the little horse I found at the flea market(also above, lower right). I don't collect horses, but I fell in love with this one. For $2 how could I refuse? But I digress. I don't even know how I'm going to get the lighting I want. There is so much out there and it seems overpriced considering I'm looking at pretty simple design in general. I will end up having to spend extra just to customize what we do choose, most likely. I can't WAIT to start posting pics of the interiors when they start to take shape. The house now has windows, doors and a roof and soon the siding will go up. Tomorrow the cement will be poured for our large pool deck and the floors inside. It's going to start to feel much closer to finished very quickly. Time to meet with our designer again to go over flooring, wall and lighting samples, and so on.
That is all for today...I am beat and need to get to sleep , if I can. I am such an insomniac I never know...

Signed up for the Times Colonist 10K on May 1st and joined Jazzercise for the first time in a decade. Fun!

But enough about me. How are YOU?

Writing gigs and yes, more lighting...

2011-03-21T13:13:00.000-07:00

Just a quick midday entry once again, mostly to add a few photos I've spotted of great lights. Went running with an ipod this morning while the kids were in childminding - I have decided the only way to kick this flu's butt is going to be running right through it. Huge, spastic coughing fit followed (lasted 1/2 hour), which wasn't fun, but not life threatening either. I think running will help and it is SO great to run with tunes again! A little CCR, anyone?

In other news, Urban Mommies has agreed to publish a monthly article by yours truly in the coming year. My latest one can be found at
http://www.urbanmommies.com/featured-1/teaching-kids-to-dress-themselves/
Hope you like it! I have also agreed to do a book review for an editor friend which I believe will be featured in Island Parent, but it remains to be seen which book it will be on. I will add the link or information when the time comes.

But back to the really fun stuff: LIGHTS. I love this blown glass light suspended in a cage...and was informed by the company advertising it that it's not currently available when I inquired about the price. Figures. Will find something that works. The question is whether it will cost less than my soul. The hanging bulb with the beaded cover is so swanky & I think would look good in multiples, hung under the soffits that lead out to our patio & pool. The chandelier is just so lovely. Don't know where I would put it quite yet but finding a spot won't be hard.So yeah. Gotta tend to my lunch-munching kids, who otherwise will be flinging veggie dogs at the ceiling momentarily. I will add the source sites for the lights after they go down for naps.

Cheerio, then. Have a lovely Monday.

Roasted Tomatoes and Afternoon Ideas

2011-03-16T15:02:00.000-07:00

I am multitasking today...roasting tomatoes (as per the Delia Smith recipe my Gramma gave me - I am addicted) and coming up with ideas to simplify and organize this chaotic life of mine...I am compelled to write them down before they disappear from my crowded brain, I will throw a quick blurb your way (as I wolf down a tomato half; will serve them with dinner later).

Today's notions are on a few different tangent. Here you go:

1) After spending more than I would like at Costco I am determined to cut spending and increase incidental household income. With a big move coming up it will make sense to have a big garage sale. I find this process exhausting to even think about because of all the sorting and pricing...but then I had a brain wave. My kids are always using coloured sidewalk chalk. I will divide the driveway into segments and make each segment it's own price range: 1) $1/$2/$5 etc. 2) $10-$25 3) $25-50 4) Make an offer. You get the idea, and each quadrant could be divided as needed, individual big-ticket items could stand alone, etc...but I think it will simplify the process! I will have to take pictures when I get around to this project. It remains to be seen whether I will have two sales, or wait until we've sold the house to do it all in one go (hard to sell a house with no stuff in it).

2) My husband and I have always liked the idea of doing the boys' room (we've put in one for each of them, but they will share while they're little) with an explorer theme - one wall will probably be a giant map in some great old school colours, and we'll decorate to offset it. My oldest has become quite infatuated with collecting little things - rocks or pinecones, or little treasures found on walks - and I remember how I loved to do the same when I was a kid. So I want to put in a whole wall section with lipped, open shelving and big glass jars for them to keep their collections in. I think it will look great and they'll enjoy it!

3) I want to learn how to sew again. Properly, this time. I always end up winging it (after taking three days to figure out how to use my machine again, since I haven't a project room in which to keep it set up)...and making decidedly wobbly things. Once in the new home I will have a large laundry and project room, and I have an old friend who is an amazing seamstress. I think I will gather a few of my favourite peer houesehold executives (moms) and see if she'll give us a workshop. We'll hire a sitter and have cocktails and...hmm, maybe we won't drink while sewing...so yeah. Sparkling water and appies should do it. But it will be all fun and girly and I'll be able to forge ahead (ha ha) with making and repairing cushion covers and quilts and other homey things. My vintage bed linens may come in handy on that front.

Oh, and in addition to that I am back on the fitness train. Did a hard 30 minutes of interval running yesterday (treadmill) and was surprised it was all I could muster. This viral bronchitis I've had really did take it out of me (honestly, I felt like I was making excuses but I could not have worked out last week. I could hardly breathe!)...At any rate, I felt better for having done it. I'm simply going to try to manage a workout daily for now and hopefully my stamina will return quickly!

That is all. Just sharing my brainclouds for today...Have a lovely Wednesday, dear readers, and remember: suffering is optional.

The Hunt for The Perfect Pendants

2011-03-13T22:06:00.000-07:00


I tried to go back and source this - no luck.

Good evening...

It seems lately I have time only to focus on one topic at a time, or a few wee ones, so I wanted to update my quest for pendant lights for our kitchen. My husband is a little resistant to my obsession with the colour green (he's just terrified I will make our whole house glow like a child's painting) and to the marine connotation of my bouy dreams...But I think I have come up with a decent solution.

www.womansday.com or CiscoCatalogue.com

I'm not sure how easy the glass bouys are to find, or how many one is likely to score at once, which means I may end up dealing with irregular shapes and sizes. Maybe I'll get lucky and find someone to be selling a batch all at once, from the same original source and all at a similar size. Even then, though, I have to think about practical use. The purpose of these lights will be to actually illuminate my work surface, which will consist of an L-shaped peninsula and a large island/butcher block/farm table. My plan is to have five largish pendants over the peninsula, and one larger fixture (which ought to relate to them, but doesn't have to match them) over the island. Because glass bouys don't have a significant opening, if any, they would act as a diffuser for the light unless I had them cut into. Musing this, I began to enter various google image searches into my computer and found that "blown glass pendant lights" gave me the closest selection to what I'm looking for.

www.nichemodern.com

www.homedecorations.com

www.modern50.com


www.nichemodern.com

Now, blowing glass is an expensive endeavour, and those doing it charge accordingly. I am hoping to stick to a budget of around $100 or less per pendant, so a custom-build isn't necessarily going to work for me. However, when I think about how I would suspend these bouys or glass spheres if I were to make the pieces myself (which I won't, because they need to be safety certified), I end up dreaming of copper, bronze or distressed nickel industrial contraptions (I even mentioned the concept of a large fixture on a vintage factory pulley for our dining room to our designer recently). SO, I think this is what we will do. Take a basic industrial pendant light like this one and notice it has a bit of a lip around the bottom edge of it's canopy. These can be found for under $100 or over $1000 depending where you look. Install said lights and call the place done...until after the big priority costs have been spent and I am ready to spend a little more finding the beautiful, bouy-inspired (or bouys with holes cut out) glass spheres I want. THEN, I will, with great satisfaction - assuming I have found an industrial pendant with a canopy that can be taken off and replaced - place said spheres on the pendant canopies, with holes in the appropriate places, and halleluja, have a gorgeously illuminated kitchen with the exact feeling I am going for. Hopefully the pictures I have pilfered from the internet will give you a clear idea of what I am going for. I am all excited and pleased with myself, for the time being. We will see how the execution of my plan plays out. Soon I will do up a sketch of my kitchen floor plan so you can see what I am doing.

It's Sunday night, and the time change has thrown us all...my husband had planned to leave to flag a race course for his dirtbiking community at 8:30 this morning before he remembered the switch...and as such had us all up at about 6:00. It's 10:05 post change now, and he's been asleep in his chair since quarter to... I know he's beat, but I find this unreasonable since his body thinks it's just after nine.

Sigh. But I digress. I AM exhausted after a long day with an unhappy almost two-year old, and will now sign off. Hope you like my ideas!

Oh My God, Oh My God You Guys...

2011-03-12T18:05:00.000-08:00

My post title today is borrowed from one of "Legally Blonde's" (the musical) numbers with the same name...I can't get it out of my head for some reason. I might even be able to find footage of a version my sister was in...will get back to you on that...

But OH MY GOD I just got ID'd at the wine store! "Have a nice evening," said the cashier as I left, and I said "Honey, you just made my whole weekend!"She looked like she was twelve. I go around all the time feeling crappy and exhausted lately, with the bronchial plague firmly and steadily attacking my system (I'm almost two weeks out and still suffering considerably - even have a temporary puffer from the doctor in spite of no history of anything asthma-like). My eye bags have become eye luggage. So yes, I am going to TAKE that compliment, thank you, and raise it a paragraph of bragging on my blog to convince myself that I do, indeed, retain some of the youthful face I once had...Ok, I did spruce up my makeup a little before I left the house (but seriously, my max routine is five minutes). I wasn't even sure I wanted to venture out but I'm making a nice meal tonight (shockingly, I went with the exact meal my Gramma made for me last week - see previous post - because it's easy and so good)...so I picked up a bottle of "The Lineup" and got a nice compliment to brighten my weekend. A lot.

Alright, I'll leave you alone now. At least about that. Still frustrated that my fitness attack got sidelined but I WILL be starting again on Monday. There. Committed. I am not going to carry this extra chub around anymore. It's driving me nuts! I may have mentioned that I will be interspersing the P90X workouts with two or three straight cardios every week - like intervals on the treadmill or trail runs. Minimum of 40 minutes, but up to an hour if I can swing it. The reason it will be easier to do the runs some days is because I can actually leave the kids in childminding at the rec centre and work out there, rather than risking an hour workout while they nap in the afternoon, when no one is there to deal with them if they wake up when I'm 25 minutes in.

In other news, we went to choose our bathroom & kitchen fixtures today. Tubs, sinks, toilets, faucets, etc...I have to say, I've never been toilet shopping before. There are so many to choose from, and they all look so much alike...But amazingly, we didn't really argue about anything and we stayed under budget. I am kind of shocked by this, because so far everything has seemed to cost more than we'd like...but clearly we are able to spend more thriftily when it makes sense. This is encouraging.

I don't know if I've announced this before now but I did come up with a name for our new place. It's Sparrow Hill. It fits, we love it, so it be. I will have more on what Sparrow Hill will represent in coming months...but for now, it's becoming our home, and we're in love with it.

I must leave now to feed my hungry children before they gnaw off my arms, but I will attempt a return tomorrow or the next day. Other attentions this week will have to be put into some actual writing. I have two actual deadlines approaching for an article and a book review. Whee...

Have a wonderful Sattiday, dear people.

Two days with no boys? Yes I di-id.

2011-03-07T16:17:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm home now with a gross cough and shortness of breath, and have been prescribed a temporary puffer. Needless to say my workout regime has been foiled for a few days. I don't even want to talk about how frustrated I am on that issue, but I will. First I will recount my lovely weekend away, though - which I probably took at the expense of my health, but which I enjoyed immensely.

I have never left my boys for more than one night, and the first time I did that was last summer, to camp with my Mum & sister for one night. This time I went to Vancouver for the weekend. On Friday I drove up to Nanaimo and took the ferry to Horseshoe Bay, so I could have a long-overdue visit with my Gramma. She is amazing! In her eighties and still pulling off gourmet meals. It was so much fun (we are really quite good friends). Knowing I've been trying to eat lightly, she planned our menu to accommodate me. We had pan-fried trout, endive casserole and these sweet, amazing roasted roma tomatoes for dinner, and pears poached in port for dessert. Not completely without butter or sugar, obviously, but it was a gracious and delicious gesture, to say the least. The tomatoes are a Delia Smith recipe, which I will post on my food page, and I will try to get the endive recipe up for you as well. We had wine and talked about all sorts of things, and she gave me a quote I love, which is "Suffering is optional." Maybe that doesn't apply to this stupid virus I've got but otherwise, I do try to remind myself to focus on gratitude!

On Saturday I picked up $54 worth of gorgeous, delectable crab meat at the Waggot's market in Park Royal (hooked up with Norma by my Gramma, of course) and headed over to my sister Monica's new place off of South Granville. It's in a totally retro little building and she has done great things with it. We went shopping for a while and then returned home to meet our Mom for her 60th birthday celebration. My other sister Malissa joined us shortly after and we got out the champagne for some appetizers and gift opening. Monica had, ironically, decided to make the roasted tomatoes a la Delia as an appetizer, along with some parmesan & chive straws she made herself. So nice. After our snack (we were all pretty hungry) she opened some lovely little gifts and the big one - we'd pooled our resources to give her a return trip to Nova Scotia, where we grew up - which got the party going and the vino flowing! She is so excited. Then, a GLORIOUS dinner of crab, garlic butter (yeah, uh, not following any program on that night), crispy herbed goat cheese with pecans and this insane dessert Monica made with thrice-cooked meringues (funny story - she thought they'd failed and left them in the over over night, and so on...then went to throw them out and they were perfect), berries in kirsch and yogurt cream.

As if that wasn't enough, we had tickets to "Legally Blonde" the musical at the Queen E theatre, so off we went in a cab. When the driver heard Mum was turning 60, he proudly announced that he was 58. He mentioned that Heart had played at the same theatre last week and we got into a conversation about Ann & Nancy Wilson (who are great live)...next thing we knew, he'd cranked up "Magic Man" and we were arriving at the theatre, only to realize he'd never turned on the metre...so he gave us a deal and we gave him a tip and off we went.

Let me state for the record that musicals are not really my thing...but my Mum & Monica love them and have both acted on stage and in film, so when Mum requested this for her birthday we were glad to oblige. I thought the show was pretty good. I don't have much to compare it to, and it helped that I knew the story line from the movie. It seemed well rehearsed and choreographed, and I would say the second half was better than the first. But that's just me.

After that we were off to Q4 (the Quattro location) for a sip and a nibble, which my sister loved because she designed the place with her team at work. Then we went home, laughed a lot and tried to go to sleep.

The only damper on the evening was that my cough got pretty nasty when we arrived at the theatre and I wasn't feeling my best. It kept me up until about 2 am and woke me again at seven. All fine...we got up eventually and headed over to Granville to poke around & have coffee and breakfast and then I headed to the ferry.

My children only hated me for a few minutes when I got home and quickly forgave me when they saw I'd come with gifts from their great-grandmother and myself (books). My hubby survived the weekend with only moderate sleep-deprivation to add to his already brimming bank of it! I am dying for some quality time with him but by the time the kids were in bed we were beat. Then my cough kept us both up all night. I ended up sleeping in the recliner, which I might as well plan to do tonight so at least one of us can rest! One day we will see each other again...Will have to book a sitter for when I feel better.

Now, to address the fitness issue. Basically, I am at an impasse. I have all the tools with which to achieve what I want, but not nearly as much time as I would like. I actually do enjoy the P90X workouts and look forward to them, but I am going to have to commit to doing many of them in the evening just to avoid interruption (my husband is home then to deal with children if they wake after bedtime). I think I may have to just plan two or three hard runs every week when I have the option of putting the kids into child minding at our rec centre because I know I won't get a workout in during nap time every time I want to. So yes, I still want to do P90X, but I am going to have to stretch it out a bit and insert some hard & fast cardio workouts every few days to keep my momentum going.

As for the food, it's been tough the last couple of weeks. I love the concept but I AM addicted to sugar, and I will go several days without feeling like I am craving and then think I can justify a little, but then I slide a little more and well, it's just a really delicate balance to strike. Hard to do when sick and/or out of town. But I will figure it out. I lost about three pounds the first week, and am up a pound or so now. I WILL hit the programs hard again after a couple of days of plague recovery, and I will keep you posted. This is not something I will give up on. But I am at a plateau & have been here for a long while, so I will have to really shock my fat butt into submission to get the pounds to start falling off. I'm thinking about keeping a food journal here - on one of my pages so it's not right in your face if you don't want to read it - but it would keep me accountable and motivated to succeed on that end. Portion control is everything! It sucks but it's true.

I'm off to find a few photos to post for your enjoyment here. Please leave comments and let me know if you have suggestions or ideas...do you want to read my food diary or does the thought make you want to read other, more boring blogs? Feedback please & thank you...have a great day.

Tweaky time

2011-03-01T08:24:00.000-08:00


Behaving myself this morning with black coffee.

So yesterday was a bad day for cravings. I wanted sugar, I wanted fat...I did have a couple of glasses of wine on Sunday night which I think can cause such cravings to a degree. I had two coffees with cream (half & half) and sugar - one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I nibbled at the chocolate chips I used to bribe my kids through their dinner (bad, bad mommy). I felt discouraged and frustrated when I tried to start my workout at five AM and was foiled yet again when my youngest woke up wailing, and upon being picked up for a calming snuggle, promptly barfed all over me. Not the best start to a day with no sleep, but I managed to get through the workout in the afternoon(and yes, I managed a shower after the pukecident). After the first half hour - and with 45 minutes to go - Noah woke up, uncomfortable again, and I had to keep trying to resettle him. I'm not sure what this bug is for him but I have the sore throat and cough, runny nose and annoyance that go with it. Bugger. He at least woke up chipper and well-rested this morning after sleeping through the night.

At bedtime last night I toted my recently purchased Tosca Reno book, "Your Best Body Now," which is funny because my body is decidedly not at it's best now...but I am trying to brainwash myself into thinking differently. Her books do have some great tips for these motivational (and logistic) setbacks so many of us experience, from how to stock your kitchen for easy, fast meals and snacks when you don't want to cook up a storm or have to be on the go to stopping to remind yourself about short-term goals before entering a danger zone like a restaurant or social gathering. You know, like if you've decided to lose five pounds by the end of the month, then you go into the situation knowing what you will eat and what you will not. These are situations that do crop up so I find reading her motivational stuff helpful.

Today after Griffin's swimming lesson, in spite of the fact that I have to do the P90X Kenpo X workout at some point today, I'm going to put the kids in childminding at our rec centre and go do a cardio workout in the gym. I've been missing the running since I began this program and I need to up my results over the next few days. On Friday I head to Vancouver for a couple of nights to celebrate my mom's 60th, which will, no doubt, be fattening and fun.I would at least like to head off any damage by getting some good results. If weather cooperates I might convince my sister to go for a run with me on Sunday morning too.

What's fun is that I just found out my friend Cheryl is starting the P90X program in Guelph, so I will have someone to compare notes with (other than my husband, who's weight sizes etcetera are decidedly larger than mine). She has also successfully lost a good amount of weight, post-babies, and kept it off for several years now, so Cheryl, feel free to leave tips and comments here!

You may all be wondering why I'm not posting before pictures here to show you where I'm at in this journey. Well, would YOU want pictures of yourself at 30 lbs overweight posted all over the internet? Neither do I. Maybe after I've achieved some results I will show you a shot or two of me at my starting point. For now I need to visualize my goals. Maybe I will get my scanner working and post some good pictures from when I was slender, back in the day...

In the meantime, I forgot to tell you I bought a yogurt maker and am making my own yogurt now. The first batch seems a little bitter & watery but that's just about trouble shooting and length of time in the machine. I found a brand-new, unused Donvier at Superchance for $24 and had to scoop it. I may have to go up to 1% milk because the skim just doesn't taste that great, even though I used a full-fat greek yogurt starter. But I digress. The stuff I've got for now will be fine in smoothies.

Please leave comments or start discussions! I am going to be editing the layout and look of the blog a bit in the coming weeks. Any suggestions? I would like a more interactive blog and have a lot to learn about setting adjustments & accessibility options...so if you know something I obviously don't please share ~

Enjoy your Tuesday and wish me luck at the rec centre. My legs are pretty wobbly after the leg & back workout yesterday.

I want glass pendant lights, bouy!

2011-02-28T05:14:00.000-08:00

It's four something in the morning and I can't get back to sleep. So exhausted lately, but every night it seems either my husband or I are awake when we should be resting. Ach viel, I thought. Might as well get up, fold some laundry, make a blog entry and try to get a workout in before the kids wake up. I might need to think about making some coffee...

Lots on the go today! I have to call my school board to find out what my next move is. Would like to just stay home with the kids forever but I seem to have used up all possible leave now that my youngest is almost two, and I've been off since my almost-four year-old was born. I think the minimum requirement to remain employed will be to rejoin the on-call list, which could be a challenge as it involves last-minute teaching gigs and therefore last-minute childcare. Hmm. We'll see what the day brings on this front.

This weekend was a blur with Noah getting his two year molars and Griffin going through a sassing/yelling/running laps phase. We did build a snowman in the yard on Saturday, only to be outdone by our next door neighbours a few hours later when they implemented an igloo. Yes, an igloo. In Victoria. I am so done with this weather.

On the fitness and diet front, I am still committed to eating clean and have done pretty well in the last week, with a few glitches. Thursday night I was also up with insomnia and succumbed to a midnight snack craving. I had two pieces of high-fibre toast with raspberry jam, which very likely took me from a clean three pound loss for the week down to about two and a half...but that's fluctuated over the last few days so it could be a multitude of things. In general I am not craving the sugar I've given up because eating this way keeps your body satisfied on whole foods. Eating a bit of protein with a bit of complex carbohydrate every two to three hours is supposed to take longer for your body to process, thereby making you feel fuller longer. That's what the book says anyway, and I would say it's true so far. For those of you who missed my earlier posts, I am referring to Tosca Reno's "Eat-Clean" book series. I'll post a picture of last night's dinner on my food page - grilled chicken with lentils & kale. It was delicious and very lean.

The workouts - The P90X Extreme Home Fitness - are my biggest challenge, not because I don't want to do them (actually I am quite enjoying them when that works out); in theory they should be easier to do than getting out to the gym or something, because they are on DVD and I can do them right in my living room at home. However, they are longer than many DVD workouts - I think the shorter ones are still 50 minutes or so with warm-up & cool-down. Even when I try to begin as soon as the kids go down for their naps, I am often foiled by one of them waking up or something. Those days result in my having to do the workout in the evening after they go to bed, when I just want to flake out after a long day. Which is why, after I finish this post, dear reader, I will be that crazy person who works out at 5 am. I never thought I would be this nuts, but hey, I'm up anyway.

Work on our house has been at a standstill since the snow arrived last week. All I can say is that groundhog is one lying sack of fleas. Hmph. I'm not sure if I mentioned that our site foreman fell off the roof a few weeks ago and mightily wrecked his wrist, which now has something like 16 pins and two plates in it. He was unconscious for around two hours so we are all extremely thankful that this appears to have been the full extent of his injuries. The whole thing is hugely unfortunate on many levels, primarily just that he's a stellar fellow and was doing great work, and it's a loss not to have him running the site. But seriously, we're just so thankful he's okay.

When the weather improves - and things should melt here pretty soon, in theory, in Victoria - the crew will go back to installing our windows, and eventually our doors will arrive so we can have completed the actual structure to lock-down. Last week we went shopping for kitchen appliances, which was fun (and expensive - still waiting to hear back from the sales rep on the actual number crunch). Now we're reviewing the budget and my husband is telling me all light fixtures have to be CSA(?) certified, so making my own is not an option. Whaaaat???? With the LEED certification we do have to comply with certain requirements, but it seems crazy that a person can't just purchase some ready-to-go wiring and attach the creative light cover of their choice. At any rate, I've figured out what I want to do in general, and everything I look at online which is ready made seems pretty expensive for how simple it is. I love the idea of using old glass bouys as pendant lights. My husband thinks it sounds too nautical, but I think if you take off the rope netting (which I actually like) and hang them more simply it won't be an issue. I will post a couple of links to things I've spotted that I like. This one won't bring the picture up straightaway - you have to scroll through to idea # 12 - so I will post the link and paste the photo directly so as to give credit to the site: http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Home/Home-Decorating/16-Fun-Decor-Finds.html (just to your right - the ones that aren't bouys but have that feeling to them).

Here is one (left) which goes back to my original idea of doing a pendant with glass insulators, but I think they would be too small in our large kitchen. Totally love it though: http://www.etsy.com/listing/48089994/repurposed-glass-insulator-pendant-light . For the record, if I have reposted any photograph illegally, I will remove it immediately upon being informed of the mistake. Hopefully I am just supporting business.

I also have this crazy, beautiful picture of my maternal grandmother, Marion (right), which I would like to incorporate into that area...maybe hang an enlargement over the breakfast table or something...or down the road I might even commission one of my two close friends (who are both insanely talented painters) to paint it. I've taken a picture of the picture next to a sketch of the bouy pendant idea. My kitchen will overlook our infinity pool, which will overlook the lake, so you'll see why I think it all works together. Or, if you don't, I will post a picture when it's all finished. I never knew my grandmother as she passed two years before I was born. I love having pictures of her though and want to display photos of our whole family, going back as many generations as possible, around our home.

I'm going to need that coffee now as I am wilting. It doesn't help that I've developed a nasty bronchial cough, which seems worse today than when I went to sleep. I hope I don't end up with a full-blown head-cold.

Well, onward & upward. I'm off to fold laundry, drink coffee and work out before the family awakens. See you next time.

Super-fast Update

2011-02-27T17:29:00.000-08:00

Halloo readers...
Just a super-fast update which I will need to keep minimal as my chicken is grilling and healthy kale & lentils ready...
I am down somewhere between 2.5 and 3 lbs for the past week, which I am happy with, and that's with a few misses on the workout front just because mommyhood is so busy/unpredictable.
I still love the changes the clean eating approach involves and will try to sneak a proper post in later tonight...
Happy Sunday.

Another Week With The YoYo...

2011-02-21T21:46:00.000-08:00

That would be me (the yoyo), or the diet (which is fun to think about doing perfectly, but not easy unless you plan & prepare EVERYTHING ahead), or my hormones and resulting mood swings(PMS)...Oh, what a week it's been.

On Friday morning, I woke to find my almost-four (!) year old attempting to clean the toilet he had just used (and had not flushed) with the toilet brush. All I had time to do was clean HIM up because we were already running late for preschool. I had to leave the rest of the mess (which could have been worse, but was still really gross) for later. Then my youngest and I had a play date in the morning (which in spite of cold weather at the park, and his stepping in dog poop) was really quite fun. However, it put me in a slight grocery deficit when it came time to pick up my oldest and take the boys home to give them lunch and naps. I chose to ignore the obvious lack of time and stop to pick up a few things I knew we'd need over the weekend.

Having been a bit rushed getting up & out of the house that morning, I hadn't paid much attention to my attire, or how the layers of it were interacting. Now, I know I have talked at length here about my quest to lose weight. Let me be clear: I do have a bit of a baby paunch. I hope to lose 20-30 lbs. But I am tall and I carry the weight pretty well. And I am not obese, nor do I have a bizarre concentration of flab around my mid-section. It's definitely not the contoured piece of magic I would like but at this stage I think I've done pretty well. I've retained elasticity, generally speaking.

Unfortunately, wearing a double-front-pocketed hoodie under a winter coat that ties around the waist (a little high, but in theory that makes my legs look longer...now I'm laughing at myself because as you will see that's redundant) results in the impression that I am not only carrying concentrated weight in my midsection, but in comments like the one a lady made during our foray down isle 11:

"Aren't YOU brave; two in the cart and one on the way!"

Sigh. I won't dwell, but I AM PMSing and it did NOT make my day. By the time we left the store, all three of us were on the verge of tantrums.

Luckily, I have an awesome husband, who the next morning told me to take the day off! Totally last minute, but what joy! I may not have mentioned it but I really don't get days off. Kids don't leave much room for it. So I TOTALLY THRIFT STORED MY WAY AROUND THE TOWN, LIKE ALL DAY! It was awesome! I got a whole bunch of stuff that made me really happy. Nostalgic bed linens and the cutest little vase and some gorgeous cushions, a charm bracelet, books,a scarf & hat and a few things for the kids. To name a few. I indulged and had a slice of pizza for lunch, and took my time meandering home. I think I spent about $50.00. I can't say how much I enjoyed it.

Today I started the P90X program & did the first workout. It was a long one - just over an hour of upper body & ab work. A few of the exercises were tough and the hardest part was the fact that my youngest woke early from his nap, so I had to keep pausing the DVD to change diapers, get snacks etc...but he did a few of the exercises with me and was generally good. Every day of this program you get a new workout, and the order of it all is always different. So I think if I can make the time to get the workouts in and do the food prep, I will see results for sure. Today I've done well food-wise and I'm motivated to keep it up.

In other news, the house is rolling along. Windows are going in this week and electrical is being plotted out. Tomorrow we've booked the sitter and will go to choose our kitchen appliances & then meet with the designer to keep the ball rolling on the interior planning. I am overwhelmed by the process much of the time, but so grateful to be doing it!

I have just enough time to post a few pictures of my thrift store adventures before I fall into bed like a dead person. Didn't sleep much last night. No reason in particular. I am just an insomniac when I have too much going on. Enjoy and please leave comments! Thanks for reading.

Me, Myself, My Thighs...

2011-02-16T21:06:00.000-08:00

Hello all ~

I thought I would focus on updating last week's entry, since it was long and so revealing as to my pursuit of leaner living. Ha.

I am still all about the clean eating. I totally went off the plan for a couple of days on the weekend though. With my sister coming I knew we'd be having wine and goodies. I would say I did fine in that I only had one portion of everything...but it was a full plate. Clean food (and my stepmother was great about making her contribution of roasted root vegetables both clean and utterly scrumptious), but with a serving of polenta and more than I needed over all. Rather than looking at this as a setback, though, I'm going to try to learn from it. I know if I had taken the time to plan and prepare the foods I could have around to make things easier, it would have been, well, easier. The booze are tough not to indulge in - I am, after all, part Nova Scotian (this is not a slag on Nova Scotians - but most of the ones I know like to tip a few)...and I like my wine!

In any case, I did decide to drop my online Weight Watchers subscription because I'm having trouble finding time to track everything. I am following guidelines for portion control and eating every 2-3 hours as the clean eating program suggests, with smaller, more snack-like meals. I'm going to have to put that extra time into the planning and preparation of my meals so that they are ready & on hand when the time comes, and half of my battle will be won!

Okay, so the other thing on the list is exercise. I love to run when I can fit it in, and even enjoy a good, hard interval session on the treadmill when the weather is crappy (here, that's most of the winter). That's what I'm doing for now. It doesn't address my need to tone all of my muscle groups as I lose weight, though, so I caved into my husband's persistent and ongoing recommendations and picked up the P90X program, which is, to put it lightly, going to kick my ass. It uses the "muscle confusion" theory and keeps your body guessing, which if done right should keep me from plateauing unless something dietary is out of balance. The tough part will, as always, be fitting in the workouts, which are about 50-90 minutes each. I will let you know how it goes, and plan to start next Monday. This is not a small investment, but my husband has been borrowing the DVD etc. from a coworker and is totally keen on it so he will continue to use it even if I end up deciding to give up and glue my butt to the couch forever more (I won't. I am too into feeling better). The nice thing is that you can do the whole program at home and not a lot of equipment is involved.

No, I've not dropped any weight yet. But I'm pretty sure I kiboshed that with the booze and polenta. I have faith that it will start to drop pretty quickly once I add the exercise and knock my portions back.

As an added bonus to my still-ample booty, though, my sister is a ridiculously talented stylist, and gave me the best haircut I've had in years. Seriously, like 20 or 30 people have commented since I posted my pic on Facebook. If you love it too, go and see Malissa at IS Salon in Yaletown, Vancouver. I feel great; thanks sis!

I will sign off with a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my other sister, Monica. Hopefully she's enjoying a wine tasting with her girlfriends right now herself. Mwah!

PS: Oh yeah, I started my "People" page too...check out my first entry to your right ~

Making Changes

2011-02-09T20:32:00.000-08:00

So first of all, it's really pathetic that within two weeks of stating that I would write here at least once a week, I have already failed to do that...But I will keep trying. My apologies to you, my faithful NINE followers. Sheesh, I clearly need to write more often if I want an actual audience. Note to self! Though I will say that so far, quality is at least evident over quantity, and thank you for reading.

This week I decided to really overhaul the way I've been eating. I have struggled with this for years because I love to cook, I love to eat, and I love to feed the ones I love. Even working out six days a week, it's been hard to change my body in the ways I'd like to because I haven't yet nailed that right combination. I think what's different now is that I've learned enough, finally, hopefully, to actually understand what to do and how to do it.

I am at home with the kids. That's a huge bonus. I am in the environment from whence my food comes on a daily basis, and I do have control of that. There are a few habits I just haven't taken the time to change in recent years which I am now, and I think this will make a real difference. I KNOW I've been ignoring my body's need for water for years. I've always been really bad about that. I know portion control is key. And I have been addicted to sugar for, like, ever.

I wish I could tell you what EXACTLY has changed for me but I think it's mostly a state of mind. I am at a place where I want to feel better and have more energy, and set a good example of living healthfully for my kids, and BE here for my kids when I am older. I am grateful for so many things, including my health, but I am carrying extra weight and it does stop me from doing things I want to do (won't get into that - that's another talk show)...So I am ready to change it up for good.

The fact that we are preparing to start life in our new home next summer makes it a good time to transition in regard to lifestyle choices. We have put in a pool, and I would like to at least feel alright in my bathing suit when the time comes. I am also planning to grow as much of our food as I can, though that may take a good year or more to set up (and admittedly, my husband currently refers to me as "The Plant Assassin," so there is some learning to do there). We have built our home with the environment in mind and want to reduce our consumerism and increase our reliance on local, organic food suppliers in regard to what we don't supply ourselves with. So, I'm starting with how I plan, shop for and cook our food.

Yes, I do have something concrete to offer. In my quest to get my mind wrapped around real change, I purchased some fitness and cooking magazines early in January, for reading on the treadmill (we've had some bad weather in the last month; thank dog that's looking up). Among them were Oxygen and Clean Eating, which I have since realized are affiliated. Oxygen is nice for it's presentation of fit women with strong bodies rather than super-skinny diet addicts. On the down side is it's excessive advertising of protein powders and metabolic booster-type supplements. Granted, it did provide an article reviewing and explaining the powders, and it does promote a lifestyle that supports fitness competitions - a bit extreme for most of us. So I can forgive my complaints because I find it motivational to read in general. Clean Eating is full of great, simple recipes and carry-on solutions for eating well without depriving yourself. The concept of eating "clean" foods is not new, but it's one Tosca Reno has written a pile of books on. She's featured regularly in both magazines and is an over-fifty fitness model who struggled with weight before her forties.

I decided to pick up one of her books, "The Eat Clean Diet - Recharged" and I haven't put it down. It's mostly stuff I know already, but somehow I find her particular approach to be exactly what I need to get motivated right now. It's got meal plans and recipes and basically, I've cut out all sugar and am eating six meals a day. Oatmeal and fruit and fat free yogurt, lean proteins, black coffee, the works. I have given up all the crap.

So far I've only been doing this for, um, four days. But I FEEL better. A LOT better. I think I just had way too much sugar and refined flours in my diet before. Even while doing Weight Watchers - which for now I'm still doing & will assess whether I still need in a few weeks - you're allowed to eat anything, as long as it fits into your points allowance. That's okay for general weight loss, but it doesn't address the body's needs or addictions, and I think I will be much fitter for giving these things up.

I like my red wine and love dessert (though I rarely indulge in the latter). I will allow myself to have them sometimes. The weird thing is, I am not craving them or having any trouble sticking to my plan. I get to eat when I'm hungry, and these clean foods are actually satisfying me. Go figure.

I will keep you posted on my progress there. In the meantime, I will try to find some of my old "skinny" pics to post to show you what I'm aiming for! I know I will never be 18 again...and now that I've said that, all I can say is thank gawd! I was awfully dumb back then (as many of us are). I'm looking forward to feeling better, long term. And I'm excited to look better too. That's all.

PS: I want to start a page on here for people I like. Just random great folks, like Marissa Tomei and Jamie Oliver and Mary Louise Parker and Robert Downey Jr. (*drools on self slightly*) and also people I actually know who are awesome and need to be shared with the world. I will post links to their blogs, web pages etcetera. I'm psyched to start it up, but for now, it's back to decluttering my kitchen so I can actually show it when we put it up for sale this spring...Adieu.

Mmm, artichokes...

2011-01-29T16:31:00.000-08:00

I haven't had artichokes in ages, and the week before last I bought a couple, thinking I could steam them for lunches when my husband was off at work (he hates artichokes. The fussy bastard). I forgot about them, which makes sense because I was obviously thinking I was someone else when I concluded I would have enough time to eat lunch, let alone to linger over one! It seems these days I can barely keep up with the laundry and cleaning up after my cyclone babies, so my goal of such a respite was, to say the least, a tad lofty.

Lucky for me, my sister arrived for a visit the following weekend and I realized the artichokes were there waiting for us. I had made a batch of ginger carrot soup that week on one of my many attempts to get the kids to eat vegetables (it actually worked, once I'd added a bit of cream and grated cheddar to the lower-fat base), so I warmed up the last of it. Then I made a dipping sauce with some dijon, lemon juice, a little olive oil and just a couple of teaspoons of melted butter. Usually I go with straight melted butter, but now that we're building a house with a pool I figure I can go without now and then so I'm not mortified when it comes time to don my suit in front of company...but I digress. With a swirl of balsamic reduction and a beer on the side, it was a lovely lunch. We watched the end of an old Chevy Chase movie, nursed our hangovers from the wine the night before, and gossiped about everything while we ate. It was a perfect, quiet afternoon. I don't know what I would do with myself if my children didn't nap.

Life is Good. Chaotic, but good.

2011-01-18T05:05:00.000-08:00

It's 4:43 AM and I can't get back to sleep. I was woken by a nightmare that my youngest had gone off with a friend of my husband's, who at some point ceased to be that friend and became a meth addict, and we didn't know where they were. It was the kind of dark mom-dream that had me still worrying about what might happen next, even after I woke up and realized it was just a dream.

So, here I am. I checked on my boys and they're all sleeping peacefully. I've let the cat out and put on some coffee. I figured hey, might as well get to work on the mountain of laundry that's been stressing me out for a couple of days. Actually, it's laundry plus all the contents of my youngest's closet - it's time for a cull because he's growing like a weed.

Do most moms suffer this kind of insomnia? I think at least some must. Life is really, really good right now. Every day is a push and I never get it all done, but my kids are happy and healthy and my husband and I love each other. While in truth I am exhausted most of the time - because mornings like this add up after a while - the payoff makes it all worthwhile. My three and a half year old was sitting next to me on the couch the other night, and he turned to me and said "Mom, you're a sweetie-pie." He's been doing things like this lately. Commenting on my run at the chip trail near our house "You ran the WHOLE THING? High five! Good job!" Our one and a half year-old is talking too, and doing very well with making his demands known: "I want the ball." "I like it too!" and of course the classic "Na-na-mah!" for "thank you." Okay, not sure where he came up with that last one, but it's awfully cute. And somehow, though there are days and weeks lately when my husband and I hardly see each other, let alone have time to connect, we are still able to fall into bed at night and say "I love you," and mean it, and enjoy being next to one another. So really, with all we have, how can I complain?

There is a lot to accomplish this year. We will be moving into our new home and are getting the one we're in ready to sell. I'm on a mission to slim down and sleep more (maybe not today on he latter...baby steps). So while it sucks that I don't have time to get my hair done (I won't even get started on what I think of salon pricing these days) or paint my toenails, the bigger picture is looking really good.

When I get stressed out, I find that little bursts of creativity can really turn my mood around. I make little vignettes around the house - rearrange a section of my kitchen counter or some trinkets on a window sill, or tidy up my bookcases. Though this behaviour can be looked at as a form of procrastination (which it is), it fuels me for the mundane things like that laundry pile or the constant bathroom cleaning I am doing now that our oldest is "toilet trained" (this is a relative term, and while his aim is generally not bad, he does miss frequently enough to warrant daily disinfectant wipe-downs!).

I will post some of my vignettes for you to enjoy on my "home" page, and now I am off to drink a big cup of coffee, tackle the laundry and figure out how to squeeze a nap in today so I can watch "Parenthood" tonight. Oh, and before I go, I've been published again on Urban Mommies, a fantastic website for moms and parents in general. Check out my article at http://www.urbanmommies.com/featured-1/recipe-for-a-play-date/ .

New Year's Resolutions

2011-01-12T21:46:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! This will be a quick entry because bedtime soon approaches (and I am quite looking forward to it). I thought I would publish a few of my personal goals for the year just to help me stick with them (and I thank you in advance for your only partially voluntary participation)...We will be moving into our new house this summer and have to get our current place ready to put on the market in a few months, so accomplishing my many creative, organizational and health-oriented goals will be a challenge. That said, one doesn't know if one doesn't try. I hope to accomplish or at the very least make progress on the following ideas:

Make at least one blog entry EVERY WEEK, including photos of what I've been up to.
Drop the extra weight I am still carrying. I have come down some since the birth of my youngest but I have a ways to go before I am happy (and healthier, and more energetic). This goal includes running at least one half marathon.
Reduce the amount of packaged, prepared products and foods we purchase by planting a vegetable garden and sourcing more of our foods locally. Out new neighbourhood is a rural area with tons of local farmers and such. I can't wait to scope things out.
Improve my wardrobe, which is tired and kind of boring and not at all representative of my creative prowess.
Organize my piles of loose photos and recipes! This will be a big accomplishment and has been on my list for a while already...With finishing and decorating a new home and being home with my boys full-time, it won't be easy...
Adopt a puppy. This will happen after we've moved and taken a little time to settle, but I definitely miss having a dog. No one will ever replace our Rupert Bear, but I would love to love another pooch, and so would my boys.
Make my Mom feel like a million bucks on her 60th birthday.
Remember to take time for play, with my kids and my husband and everyone I love!
Song and dance. I won't elaborate too much but here's the deal: I am shy and stopped doing these things when I was younger because I was far too worried about what others thought of me. Now that I'm older I'm too tired to care, and singing and dancing makes me feel GREAT, so I plan to do so, and with great abandon. I don't know yet in what context, but it will happen.
Figure out a way to meet Sheena, with whom I have been friends online for almost four years, but have not had the pleasure of meeting yet. You will see why this must happen when you visit her blog at www.thewarbetween.blogspot.com

That's it for now but I may update my list as time goes on...in the meantime I wanted to share a picture of this beautiful bracelet my sister-in-law gave me for Christmas. I love it and my 21 month-old is obsessed with it - those are his hands in the picture. I thought the beads were made of wood at first but amazingly, they're FIMO! That stuff you mold and bake...not easy to make such intricate designs, I tell you. Anyway, it's a fave, so I thought I would post it. Voila.

Holiday Happy!

2010-12-22T09:18:00.000-08:00

The season is officially upon us! My inlaws arrive today and the to-do list keeps on growing. My kids are SO excited, especially my three and-a-half year old, who bolted across the carpet at the mall when given the go ahead to see Santa and LAUNCHED himself onto the guy! I have never seen him deliver a hug with such enthusiasm. My 20 month-old cried the whole time, but I pretty much expected him to be confused about the whole sitting-on-a-strange-dude's-lap thing. His brother was the same way two years ago!

I got most of our send-away gifts out yesterday with family who are traveling to the big Van today. I am really glad I took the time to make some homemade gifts - see my food page - as they are being very well-received. A new addition to the pancake mix was some pure maple syrup which I transferred into pretty jars and spiced with cloves, nutmeg and cinnamon. The way this beautifies something which is already so decadent and delicious is amazing. It smells GORGEOUS! I will have to try it for our own Christmas breakfast.

Yesterday morning was quite beautiful, and as we watched "the sky wake up" (in the words of my son) I made the kids a lovely breakfast snack of "Christmas toasts with chocolate and snow." They loved it. I'm going to make Giada's stratiacella dessert again - see my food page for the link - and put it in the freezer for Christmas Day. Not a traditional dessert for the holidays but I think it will go over well. So yummy.

Our Christmas tree this year turned out to be much smaller than we thought it was, and so it's up on the kids' train table (which they graciously sacrificed at the promise that there would be even more room for presents this way). It has evolved a little since we took this photo but it's a fun, wonky little tree, and probably our last small one as next year we will be in our living room with its 13-foot ceiling!

Today the kids and I will go for a long walk and once I've tuckered them out, we'll return home for lunch and naps, and a major cleaning blitz for mommy! I will be glad to see the other side of it and glad to see my in-laws - yes, it's true - as it will mark the real beginning of Christmas for us. From there on in it will be about wrapping gifts, seeing friends and enjoying family. YAY! I love Chrissamiss.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

2010-12-14T08:51:00.000-08:00

My house is a mess! My kids are twice as busy as I can keep up with and my to-do list is ten times as long. And that's okay!

Every year I try to do too much. People tell me not to, but I LOVE making and buying and beautifully wrapping special things and especially giving them to those I hope will be happily surprised at how personal, fun or thoughtfully chosen their little treats are. I use a lot of twine and little brass bells when I wrap things up - it's simple but festive - and I bought some of those label punches so I can make my own tags with fun paper. For my kitchen gifts I add a larger tag or recipe card with instructions on how to make and tie it on with twine and a nice piece of fabric.

So far this year I have made homemade pancake mix with holiday spices and ingredients and vanilla orangecello - check my food page for the recipes. The pile of gifties and stocking stuffers is growing and I hope to get on the wrapping this week so I don't have to put my back out in another 24-hour marathon (last year was painful but I think I got to the chiropractor in time)...I also found a couple of wreath bases for a couple of dollars at the thrift store and decorated them with inexpensive potpourri from Superstore and some reindeer ornaments I got for 50 cents apiece at the dollar store. I also had a string of old painted wooden beads I added to one and I think it looks awfully cute. Now I just have to convince my husband to put a nail in the front door so I can hang it up (one of the challenges of living with a builder is that they detest marring finished surfaces, even in the name of making a home feel homier and more festive...).

I still have some shopping to do but my cards are ready to mail and I even have a real family photo to send this year. My husband is, to say the least, as anti-poser as they come and HATES to sit for photographs, but after several days of nagging, he complied. We only got one where we were all smiling as Noah, our 20 month-old, cried the entire time, and of course I look a little too happy in that one (but fine in the one where our three year-old, Griffin appears drunk, and Noah perplexed)...but I am thrilled, nonetheless.

This year my in-laws are coming to stay with us. It's Papa's first Christmas with his grandsons, and also the first year the boys will both be old enough to feel the magic of the season. I can't wait to witness their excitement on Christmas morning. And though I am not religious, I am going to PRAY FOR SNOW! We will miss seeing my side of the family this year, but now that we have young children we can't have everyone at once (at least not until our new home is ready).

Christmas dinner can be stressful if not planned ahead. I highly recommend the Christmas edition of Jamie Oliver's magazine, if you can find one (it's a British publication but I found it in Chapters). The heading on the cover is "Christmas With The Olivers" and the issue includes a chronicle of their Christmas at Jamie's parents' place last winter (now that's thinking ahead). Anyway, it's full of great tips and photos and recipes and I am ready to plan an awesome meal, delegate the parts out to those wishing to help, and those who don't can have clean-up duty. If you are the primary cook for your household, make sure you get things organized ahead of time so you can enjoy yourself too! I will photograph as much of our spread as possible and try to journal here throughout the holidays (we shall see!).

We haven't decided which charity (or persons in need) we will contribute to helping yet for the year. Every year we give to someone (or an organization that helps someones). We do know that we want to help out families with children. Suggestions are welcome, the more local the better but we will consider anyone in real need.

May this holiday season for you be all about paying it forward, showing people you love them and getting a little break to curl up with a loved one or a good book. Oh, and HAPPY FESTIVUS! Please feel welcome to leave comments about what Christmas means to you.

Onward & Upward!

2010-12-04T07:58:00.000-08:00

So, this weekend we will apparently be able to go and STAND ON THE MAIN FLOOR OF OUR HOUSE. I am beyond excited. Working on the kitchen floor plan has almost driven me over the edge. Everyone has an opinion so it's time for me to sit down ALONE and go over my options. I have a better idea of how I want the space to feel, but unlike my husband, who builds houses all the time, I have trouble visualizing the actual space if I can't be in it. The walls and ceiling are going to be up soon and then I will really have to start making decisions...I will post a link to the Horizon website and if you go into the Projects page you'll be able to look at the photos of our build in progress. Just select the "LEED Platinum Home" shots.
I shall return soon, but for now that's what's new...Happy weekend all!
http://www.horizoncontracting.ca/default.aspx?PageID=1000

Hiatus done!

2010-11-25T08:57:00.000-08:00

I've been a horrible, horrible blogger in recent weeks. My laptop died and was not healed until almost three weeks had passed! It was terrible.
At any rate, I am back online and will be writing more and more. Here is a lovely recipe for the giving season (click food page).

Just Saying Hi

2010-10-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

Haven't been writing much of anything lately as a close friend has been in crisis and I have been pretty focused on helping her through it. I won't write about the specifics here though as it is a personal matter for her.

What is on my mind is that life can change in a moment, in a way you don't expect it to. I wake in the mornings lately and have to shake off my disbelief at what my friend is going through. Now that I have spent time with her I know she is strong enough - remarkably so - to move forward with hope and courage in spite of tragedy and loss. It makes me think, though. The human condition seems so fragile, so temporary, but we can withstand so much when forced to. I think things do happen for a reason, even if we wish they wouldn't have happened at all, and certainly can cause us to take pause, and get a little perspective on what we want, where we're going and what we're doing. I know this is a little vague but it's what I'm thinking about today. Sometimes we have to be jolted to really take a look at ourselves. Sometimes it sucks to do so, but it sure can be useful in one's personal evolution.

On another note, I just posted two recipes on my food page: one is for a lemony, yummy chicken picatta, and the other is for eggs baked in tomatoes and peppers - a wonderful breakfast. Both are easy to make. Enjoy...

To Tell the Tale...

2010-09-08T12:51:00.000-07:00

I have been in a constant state of motion since my arrival home from the hospital. I am five days post-op and today my energy levels have finally crashed. While I knew I would have to be somewhat still following surgery, I didn't realize I would have so much trouble doing so - both by my own fault and just by necessity. It has taken time to get my husband and then the temporary nanny accustomed to the boys' routines and yesterday was a whirlwind, showing her around and dealing with the kids' cabin fever after a rainy weekend!
Went to the doctor to get my incisions checked and I appear to be healing up just fine, but I do need to slow down today and for a couple more. I will spend the afternoon napping and daydreaming about snazzy new shirts.

I have planned to do this for nearly 20 years. My originals arrived early and fast and during the already confusing and mortifying time that is adolescence. Before I got boobs, I wanted them desperately. My friends and I took our cues from "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret" by Judy Blume, doing ridiculous chicken wing exercises and reciting our mantra: "We must, we must, we must increase our busts..." I had no idea what I was in for. I went from nothing in about grade four to a full C by early grade seven, and they just kept growing. The sexual harrassment that accompanied the much-desired attention from the boys at school was confusing and shaming, and aside from my closer friends the girls were often unkind too...There was even a teacher who participated, mostly by laughing along with the guys when they made their rude remarks. When I finally went to a guidance counselor for help, the school administration treated my situation like their own personal Jerry Springer show.

"You GRABBED her breasts, ______?" The principal demanded, as my one physical harrasser and I sat next to one another in her office. Her beady eyes shone and I could tell she was enjoying his discomfort and my own. He responded, almost proudly, that yes, he had. In fact, he had been approaching me from behind in the hallways between classes, grabbing my breasts and lifting/shaking my entire body up and down while he copped a feel and impressed his friends, who frequently would cheer him on. I tolerated this for about two years before seeking help. Thinking that I wouldn't be allowed to date, ever, I had not told my parents what was going on. When I demanded that the principal and counselor not inform them of my complaint, these "educators" actually agreed to keep it quiet. With the twisted logic of a fourteen year-old girl, I felt that was best. Obviously, now I see that I should have sought the guidance of my folks, or at least stood up and defended myself - at about a foot taller than my perpetrator I could easily have put him out of commission had I the skill or wherewithall...But I just didn't have the self-respect or courage. The risk to my social "freedom" was too high. Ha!

After allowing us to return to class, the principal came to our door and demanded that ALL of the boys return with her to the gym. She purportedly interrogated them there, during which time I received dirty looks from my female classmates for snitching on the boys - for abuse I clearly deserved - and when they returned I was called back to her office a last time. She eyed me judgementally; told me the boys had said I liked the way they spoke to me. As though I could seriously be guilty of wanting to hear, every day, in every class, about the shape of my body and the gross way in which it reflected my character. As if their open discussion of my physicality was not a violation of my privacy but a right they all had. I assured her that no, I did not enjoy their abuse, and she said something about how it shouldn't happen again, which really meant that she'd addressed the issue technically, and I should really just shut up about it and move on.

CLEARLY, this was a time during which my confidence was lacking. If I could go back and handle it anew...I would put the little bugger on the ground in an all-out tackle - screw the feminine wiles - and made sure all of my peers understood that to mess with me again would result in pain. I would have gotten a job, started running, made other friends, and stopped having time for the jerks at all. A good lesson here is that adolescents need hobbies, and pals outside of their school circles. Allowing their locker-side social interactions to become their primary focus is no way to encourage autonomy.

I am stronger for it all, though. It's true. My excessive natural endownments have encumbered me at times, but they also fed my children and accompanied me through every step of my crazy life. Before I went to sleep the night prior to surgery, I took a moment and thanked them. I was completely ready to let them go, but I felt I owed them that.

My boobs afforded me a learning curve in my life (sorry, awful pun) which has resulted in my being someone who knows herself well. I know what I will tolerate from others and what I will not. It is of high priority that I not waste time with people who ooze disrespect or negativity. I am a role model to my boys, and they will choose the people in their lives as I choose the ones in mine. If I am to do good and be good for those I love, I need to make choices that allow for that. Full stop.

At an H cup (give or take - when you're that big you don't really know for sure) post-childbirth, I was suffering from back and neck pain and feeling utterly disheartened about my figure. I felt matronly and like I was hauling around udders, not moving comfortably about with a regular pair of breasts. I would have the surgery again in a heartbeat. I feel great. I feel sexy again, even while stuffing my bra with gauze. Exausted, recovering...but ready to take on the world and buy some new clothes!

Check out the following link for a glimpse of how I feel about my new ones (obviously, excepting the part at the very end, when Mary Louise spots the ominous mafia thug) ~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fm0LhJVPNI

They're real, and they're spectacular...

2010-09-04T20:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I arrived home this morning after having to stay the night in hospital unexpectedly due to a bad reaction to the anasthetics. Lots of nausea and a bit of vomiting resulted in a lot of gravol and more sleep than I have probably had since before my oldest was born!

The surgery was a great success from what I can tell so far. I had photos to show my surgeon beforehand thanks to a woman I met on the breasthealthonline.org site who gave me permission to use them. Her befores were a lot like mine and she had a great result. My surgeon looked at them closely and agreed it was a good goal so I felt we were on the same page going in. When she examined me afterwards she said it looked like I would get the results I wanted, and that everything seemed pretty symmetrical. Only time will tell and I am definitely sore and groggy from all the anasthetics and painkillers in my system, but I am SO happy I did this. I wasn't expecting to be so pleased because I was pretty fearful going in, but if I can manage to heal up properly I think I will be thrilled with the results.

It will be a little while before I can start shopping by I will be sure to post pictures when I find something wonderful that I couldn't have worn before. I am so excited!

Here We Go (or, One Hell of a September)

2010-09-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

I'll begin this short post with a little decorating idea I've come up with. I don't know why but I'm obsessed with this old glass insulator I have...the ones that used to protect the wires up on telephone poles back in the day. My parents used to have a small collection of them which sat on our windowsill and caught the light.

This one is particularly beautiful. I love the colour and the little bumps on the bottom. I want to collect many like this, drill little holes through their tops, install chandelier bulbs inside them, come up with some sort of industrial rig to hang them on, and use the fixture over the island in my kitchen. Maybe I'm crazy but I think it could be very cool. It's a good thing I have about a year to figure it out and collect all the pieces. I also saw some old glass boat buoys in a similar colour in a magazine, which could have similar potential.

On another note...I have two more sleeps before the big operation. I have kept verrry busy organizing and cleaning my home and getting meals put in the freezer for recovery week(s), taking care of the kids and so on...so while I have been feeling increasingly afraid of the actual surgery I have managed not to think about it in excess. Knowing me, I will just be drifting away to the land of the great sedative when I decide "I can't do this! They're going to cut me up!" I will go to leap off the gurney and run for the hills, only to realize that I can't move because hey, I'm asleep...zzz...

I have given this many years of thought, though, and think it's for the best. I am ready to get rid of the back and neck pain, improve my posture and go running without having to wear two bras! Ha. I was pointed to a fantastic website by a friend of a friend - thank you Robyn! - which I must highly recommend: http://www.breasthealthonline.org/ and will include in my list of links. It is essentially an online forum for women like me who are going to have breast reductions, augmentations, tummy tucks etc., or have had them already. There are nurses and other health professionals as well who give advice and respond to questions, and Annette, the woman who runs it, is amazingly present all over the conversation boards, and full of amazing information.

This may be my last entry before I go in on Friday morning. Wish me luck and I will report back on how I am feeling...

On a personal note...

2010-08-15T06:53:00.000-07:00

So. Maybe this is too much information but it's on my mind a LOT right now. I am having a breast reduction in less than three weeks. As the time draws nearer, I'm feeling nervous about it, but not so much that I won't go ahead. I've been planning to do it for a long time, and waited only so my boys could have the benefit of breast milk.

In the immediate sense my concerns are around hiring someone to help out with the lifting of and playing with the kids, meal preparation and cleaning in the weeks following the surgery. The doctor says it will be about fourteen days before I can pick up my boys and I don't want to jeapordize my recovery by doing anything I shouldn't. In the meantime I'm trying to stock up on groceries and prepare easy meals I can freeze ahead.

On a more personal level, I've started having amusing - ahem - dreams about being back in junior high school enduring the taunts of my classmates. My "decolletage" arrived early and it definitely changed my life - how I felt about myself and how others treated me. Would I change things if I could go back? Hell yes, on a few different levels. I suppose that's the human condition, though, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

If I can accomplish anything at all while recovering from surgery, I hope I will be able to type because I feel a story coming together. I think girls have such a rough go of it where the transition from girlhood to womanhood is concerned. So much projection to process, from the media, the community, and their peers. These days it's even harder with the obesity epidemic at an all-time high and coinciding with the height of anorexia in Hollywood and the fahion industries. What to do?

I plan to write a piece that examines my own experience growing up (and out, as nature would have it), what it's like for girls in a broader sense and the experience of my surgery and recovery. Should be a doozy.
Here's hoping I can find the time to get it written! Please, universe, let my children sleep through the night, just once...

Goodbye old friend...

2010-07-29T22:31:00.000-07:00

My delinquency in writing here is in part due to the fact that two weeks ago today, we had to put our 13 year-old English Mastiff, Rupert, to rest. I knew that it would be hard to write about it, but that I would have to.

He had a wonderful life and outlived his breed average by four to five years. He was gentle and loyal and silly as all get out. One time when he was oh, around four, we heard him come up the stairs from where we were sitting in our TV room. My husband saw in his periphery as Rupe checked to see if he was looking, then snuck quietly into our bedroom instead of joining us across the foyer. Tim nudged me and motioned for me to listen. After a moment, we heard a "creeeeeeak" in our room. Tim tiptoed over and peeked around the corner at the doorway to find Rupert, spread-eagle on his back, on our bed and writhing around with glee.

"RUPERT!" He said, and the instantaneous response was a full 180 degree flip to upright position, and a hanging head because he sooo knew he was in trouble. It was so funny though that we just ended up laughing and giving him a snuggle.

He was spoiled to be sure, but my god, he was beautiful and sweet. In the end, the arthritis and muscle loss in his back legs were so bad he could barely get up the three stairs to our porch entry, his bladder was starting to fail, and he was going deaf and blind. What was really hard was that I didn't have any peace and quiet in his final days to just sit with him, and talk to him, and really let him know he was mine and I was his and that I was so grateful to him. My one and three year-olds were being particularly relentless that week and giving us trouble at bedtime (teething and monster fear), so the little bit of quiet I would normally have used for such a thing wasn't available to us.

The next day, my husband and I had our fifteenth anniversary (five years married but fifteen together in total) and the following night we actually got away for one night - our first time away from the boys with my Dad & Stepmother staying with them - and went to a little cabin on the ocean.

When we arrived it was mid-afternoon and such a stellar day. The sun was on the ocean and it was quiet and beautiful. I was still in agony about Rupe. Suddenly I felt like he was there, all around us, in the warmth on my skin, filling my whole body, and I just sat there and soaked him up for like an hour. I don't believe in God in any traditional sense, but it was the closest thing I've experienced to religion in my life. I feel a little bit hopeful in a new way; maybe the soul can remain intact after the body dies. I don't feel sure, but I don't know what to do with the alternative possibility.

I'm finally getting through my days without constant crying jags, but there are still those moments where I cut the crusts off the kids' toast and remember he's not here to eat them, or I come home from grocery shopping and realize he's not waiting to greet us. I'm thankful for the gorgeous portrait my best friend painted of him as our wedding gift, and of every photograph we have of him, and for every moment he was here with us. My world is more beautiful because he was a part of it.

Glorious Fabric Nostalgia!

2010-07-11T21:28:00.000-07:00

This won't be much of a written entry, but I've been trying to get organized around my house. In so doing I've been finding what I suppose I could call my crafty collections. I wanted to document some of them visually so I have some starting points as I begin to plan the interior of various rooms in our home and so on. If I really love a fabric or even a trim detail it can spark a whole onslaught of related fun decor ideas.

Here are some fabric samples from my collection and also some French lace I bought at a little thrift store in the south of, yup, France, a few years ago on my honeymoon. I will definitely be using some of what you see even if only for small projects like cushions or lampshade trim or whatever. I'm really looking forward to showing this stuff to our designer before we begin on the interiors so he can get a clear idea of who I am and just how engrained in my romantic, hippy soul the nostalgia of kitsch really is. I love old fabrics and papers and things that evoke memories...of people, things, places, even music.

I also came across an old jewelry box today & will try to add a photo later. Hope you enjoy the eye candy! It totally excites me.

We're building a house!

2010-07-03T14:13:00.000-07:00

I find this entire process overwhelming and amazing. It's simultaneously too good to be true and too much to handle! We went to see the property today and it's incredible to walk around in the actual foundation of our home, view the shape of it's perimeter, and talk about how the rooms will flow and so on and what we'll do with the landscape when it's done.

I forgot to take pictures but will do so next time. It's not much to look at right now anyway and I've forgotten the terminology for the kind of footings we're using. Essentially we've got styrofoam molds in place, which are reinforced vertically with steel beams before concrete is poured in to provide the real strength. This will all be done in stages from the ground up. The sound-proofing should be great with this type of a structure, and I'm counting on it since the theatre room may end up right under my bed! My husband doesn't seem to think this could be a problem for his insomniac wife...but that's another talk show. We will also be putting in a gigantic rainwater cistern (sp?) underground which should provide most if not all of the water for our gardens. I am really excited about growing our own food but the planning for that will come later.

In the meantime, and since this is really Tim's territory in the process (he's a contractor), I am dreaming up a storm in regard to interior finishes and decor. In particular the kitchen is on my mind. I adore cooking and want this to be a real hub in our home. We do have an open floor plan in mind for the main floor of the house which will include the kitchen, dining and living areas, so I am trying to come up with ideas around how we can define each space in ways that make sense without separating them too much.

I've started scrapbooking and with my scanner pilfered (Tim took it to his office and I can tell I'm going to have to replace it because they're using it every day) the only way I can share any of it with you is to post a photo or two. They won't be great visuals but for now, better than nothing! Can't wait to really get into materials and colours for the kitchen. The whole house, actually. I want an overall kind of 70's landscape postcard hues effect...if that makes any sense at all. Lots of lake greens and sky blues and old truck reds...but all muted, or subtle in their detailed application. We will have a lot of wood and stone/tile surfacing in the house so we'll need to use colour for balance. It is going to be so fun.

Me, Myself and the Insomniac...

2010-06-25T04:19:00.000-07:00

It's 4:08 AM. I can't sleep.

It's not for lack of trying. The scene from last night is something like this:

My husband and I, bagged and sweaty from a long hot day, manage to be in bed at about 9:40. He is
sound asleep by 10 and snoring away.

I lay on my side next to him, reading my David Sedaris book and slowly accepting that I was going to have to get up for a while and hope my brain would shut off a bit later. Before I leave the bedroom I think about what I might do while I'm up. I grab the Windex from our bathroom, remembering that the pets are asleep in the laundry room, and if I wake them up I wake everyone up.
Got up, donned the husband's pajama pants and tee and grabbed my book & the windex. On my way down the stairs I quietly clean the milk spatters of the windows on our landing. Upon arriving in the kitchen I am reminded of the three postcards I picked up from the mailbox on the way home; they are from my closest friend and a delight to read. I write three in response and then sit down for a budgeting and online banking session. After an hour or so I mix up half a neocitran and head back up to bed.

I lie there, and my husband snores. I think about the window we left open in our one-year old's bedroom and the likelihood he's thrown off his blankets, as usual. Every time I start to drift off, something wakes me. A vision of my three year-old standing at the edge of a cliff. Tim rolling over. The drapes brushing against the window as a breeze blows in. After another hour I give up and get up again.

On the bright side, I've now done most of the cleaning for the day ahead, made my lists and planned my meals, which should ensure me an afternoon nap. The kids will rest after lunch, and so will I.

Why can't I switch off this brain? Because I am fortunate enough to be juggling two beautiful kids and a house I can't quite keep up with. There is always something else to do, or another errand to be run...and this way, while I will be exhausted beyond belief as the kids and I plod through our morning, at least I will be able to rest assured I have started the day, for once, prepared. Well, we'll see how I feel about that in an hour when our three year-old wakes just as I've finally drifted off for the first time, all night.

Father's day blitz!

2010-06-20T14:28:00.000-07:00

Today is both father's day and my husband's birthday, so it's been a busy one. I wish I had time for a nap!

Got up at six with the kids and my three year-old was being a menace from the get-go...hitting his little brother, stealing his toys and hurling his breakfast to the floor just as I was trying to decorate Daddy's cake! By the time Tim came downstairs, I was in tears. What can I say but it's the worst possible timing for my PMS to show up!

Griffin insisted that Daddy open all his gifts the second he got up, so I made him a coffee and we watched him grin happily while the boys clambered all over him, decorating themselves with ribbons and bows.

Took a few moments to splash my face and put on some mascara and pulled off a pretty sweet brunch. My Dad and Stepmom joined us and we had a blast! Forgot to take a picture but it was the weekend breakfast we usually avoid for the ridiculous calorie count - the works with fresh orange juice, bacon, eggs, waffles, strawberries, and of course real maple syrup. I can't say all these things were totally local, but that's a mission I will have to take on slowly while I wait for my garden capacity to expand with our move in the coming year. In that spirit, though, we finished up our coffee and headed to the local farmer's market, Jan coming with me and the kids and Dad joining Tim for a rip in his fast car. We were a bit late & missed out on a few of the best produce items but still scored some delicious garlic scapes, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cucumber, salsa and flowers.

In the coming weeks I am going to be reworking my weekly schedule; while my mandate here is to come up with a system that "works" in the management of my household, I should really qualify that with the resounding statement that so far I am not succeeding! There is ALWAYS a pile of laundry taunting me from behind closed doors, or a puddle of pee interrupting my attempts to leave the house in a tidy state before we dash out only to arrive late at any given appointment, or bills to pay or phone calls to return...

It may be a long road ahead, but I am determined to find a balance that allows me to keep happy kids, a clean home and still have time for the cooking, writing and art that I love! It may sound impossible, but I have this theory: with wine at proper intervals, anything is possible.

Rainy Sunday

2010-06-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

(Please feel free to post comments and feedback!)

Had an active morning with the kids as the husband is off dirtbiking today.
It started pouring just as I was loading the kids into the double stroller for a run...six kilometres later we were pretty wet (they have a canopy, of course). Went to the farmer's market anyway thinking it would be deserted or possibly closed and it was bustling! The kids got a cookie and we made off with some tomato, cress & herb plants, a cute little blueberry pie, some homemade salsa & apple butter, and a beautiful bag of mixed greens. Forgot to get eggs or meat because we were drenched and needed to get home to warm up.

We stopped for some pediatric advil on the way home because our little one is teething big-time and then I got the boys home for lunch and a warm bath, milk and naps! It's been a workout and a half.

Can't wait to plant my tomatoes and watercress, but it's still raining so I suppose I really have no choice but to run a hot bath and make some tea while the kids snooze soundly.

Sigh (I love this life).

The kids are asleep!

2010-06-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

It is Friday night and my chilren are resting peacefully.

That rolls off the tongue so fluidly, so naturally, and yet...With a three year-old who's afraid of the dark (even when it's still light out) and a one year-old in the throes of teething hell, it's a rarity these days.

Now, the sound of my husband's fight on the television, my black cat's silhouette in my periphery and the feel of my still-toasty, post-bath, tuckered carcass are the only things commanding my attention. My husband's eyelids look heavy as he watches his show, and I know we won't last the length of a movie if we start one. It's already 9:21.

This is life right now. Ten years ago the party might have just been getting started and the thought of crawling into bed this early would have seemed ridiculous. But in eight hours or so, one of the boys will wake up. We will change a diaper or two, put our youngest back to bed, and our oldest will end up in our bed, burrowed between us as we steal an extra 20 or 30 minutes of intermittent sleep...

There is nowhere I'd rather be.

Women are making art out there!

2010-04-25T21:32:00.001-07:00

This weekend was unusually packed with creativity sitings for me. Saturday morning, we picked up the sitter and I headed into town to Birgit Piskor's annual plant sale (she's a close friend & neighbour of my stepmother)...which has now turned into more of an art sale with her astounding sculptural pieces. If you haven't seen these you should. They are pricey, but powerful. Then, today, my husband was up-island in a race so I packed up the kids and took them to the "What Women Want" Garden Party Event on King Street, and found some beautiful gifts. Aprons made with vintage fabric, handpainted wooden memory games and blocks for kids, not to mention the gorgeous silver, leather and textile-based jewellery of the brillant Jana Stevenson. I will be adding some links so you can check out some of the merchandise.
In short it was a treat to get out and see what creative people are doing with their time. I've had so many ideas over the years and so rarely have I managed to give them form! It's wonderful to see women out there, going for it, and doing well.